A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is the back story- My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 and a half years. He is the most trustworthy person and I know that he would never cheat on me. I am 110% sure of it. My boyfriend and I, and another 3 people are all really close friends. 2 are male and 1 is female.The other girl is 2 years younger than the rest of us, and recently her parents divorced, just to make it clear, she wasn't affected by the divorce, she wanted it to happen but she was more emotional about the fact that her dad kept coming back to home to try and get her mum back.She calls my boyfriend when she is upset and asks him to come and get her so they can go on a drive or get away. This would be okay, if she let me know. She continues to call him up (she can just call me, we're are closer then her and anyone else) and just turns up to his house crying.She never let me know when she had gone to his house (my boyfriend let me know, of course) and she acted like everything was sweet. She once lied to me when I asked her what "she did today" and she said her and her boyfriend went to the mall. When really what happened was her and my boyfriend went to the mall. My boyfriend tells me when this happens, he doesn't keep anything from me and I am not angry at him.I ended up telling my friend that I was uncomfortable with what was going on, and said tat she crossed the line by not telling me and further lying to me. It made me feel like I couldn't go to my own boyfriend with my issues because she was constantly on his shoulder. After I told her, she went on to call my boyfriend to say "sorry that I was such a nuisance to you, I was just upset" which made me seem like the bad guy in the situation.Do you think I had the right to tell her this? I obviously said it in an appropriate way. And I am there for her, and feel for her.
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female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (27 May 2010):
yes you had every right to tell her and I would not trust her at all.
Your boyfriend has done the right thing and told you what was going on but this girl has no reason to be contacting him and she should not be leaning on him.
Dont trust her and make sure her behavior stops.
A
female
reader, louisevandeburg  +, writes (27 May 2010):
You were definitely not at fault to tell her, if you didn't she never would know!
I don't think she should have acted out in such a way, and you should probably explain to your bf, if you haven't already, exactly what went down and what made you say that. As you said, you trust your boyfriend, so make sure you emphasise this to him.
Once again, you are definitely not at fault!
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