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Did I blow it by playing it cool?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 October 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 8 October 2013)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I finally met this guy my friends had been suggesting I meet, they mentioned he would be coming with us on a camping trip. He arrives late as he was working that day, just in time for dinner and drinks. I didn't really have a proper chance/the guts to talk to him until after we started drinking. The next thing I know he and I are chatting away, looking back he was the one asking a lot of the questions and we had a lot of similar interests. It was all going well but I suddenly tired and needed to hit the hay. The next morning he got up early, just a little after me and after some nudging from my friend I made a bit more in the way of chit chat, he was no where near as chatty as the previous night but he was smiley through the zombified hangover. Because the conversation wasn't flowing quite as free and easy as the day before I grew more and more awkward, I feel he did too. He didn't talk but he seemed to hover in the area, I thought I heard him speaking with his best mate about me, but I only heard my name as one of my friends started talking to me and distracted me from my eavesdropping. We didn't really talk much after that, but he seemed a bit quiet with everyone.

I dunno...

My concerns are,

-Did I blow it by playing it cool?

-Does he even seem to like me?

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A female reader, malvern United Kingdom + , writes (8 October 2013):

malvern agony auntI think you need to 'bump into' him again and give it another go. At least that way you'll know for definite if he's interested or not. I often think men need a bit of a nudge at times. Try to be somewhere where you know he will be. If he shows a lack of interest second time around then at least you'll know you're wasting your time.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2013):

I think he does like you, maybe he just doesn't have the confidence to be as chatty when he's not drinking. Obviously you don't want to look too keen, but try and get to know him outside of a group situation and see if that awkwardness really is there, or whether it was just nerves!

Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2013):

He didn't show much interest after the alcohol-induced courage. Hangover or not; if he really found you interesting, he could have asked for the phone number. Guys don't let a good thing getaway.

You didn't blow anything. You just didn't click. Playing it cool gives the other person room to relax, talk, and present his game. He was too lame to followup where you left-off the night before. It was only awkward, because he had nothing to say.

This is why I don't like being fixed up by friends. You shouldn't take it personally, if there was no chemistry. It says nothing about you as a person. Only that you didn't make an impact on him; and he just didn't see reason to take it any further.

He can always get in touch with you through your common friends. That is, if he wants to. If he doesn't, just write him off.

There were no guarantees you'd hit it off. You weren't rejected, and you should not let this brief encounter with a perfect stranger cause you any angst.

If he's got any game at all; he'll get the guts without shots of liquor, to talk to single and available woman.

That woman being you.

You can't count this as a miss. Don't let desperation creep up and whisper nonsense in your ear. It'll do that.

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