A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I'm not very sexually experienced and am just a bit concerned about what happened a couple of nights ago. I've been dating a guy for a couple of weeks, and ended up sleeping with him on Wednesday night (a bit too soon, I know). We were watching a dvd and one thing just led to another. I felt like I was completely rubbish in bed to be honest, so I mostly let him take control, namely in the 'doggy style' and 'missionary' position. It wasn't particularly pleasurable, infact it barely felt like he was penetrating me. It was mainly just a sensation of wanting to pee, which was quite uncomfortable. Anyway the main problem was when he 'came' - I didn't feel like he did. He was wearing a condom so maybe that's to do with it? He wasn't particularly vocal, he just told me he'd come, pulled out, apologised to me (he wanted to satisfy me first) then nipped to the bathroom. Is there any possibility he could have lied about his ejaculation? or am I just being paranoid lol?Also, can anyone offer any tips as to how to make our next experience feel better? I just really want to let myself go and enjoy it! I also feel embarrassed that I might not have been good enough for him. I know there's a number of issues I've mentioned here, but any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance for any replies :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (15 September 2011):
I think he didnt fake it, but it seems he's also pretty new to sex considering how he didnt express himself and possibly came too quickly. I think what's needed is for you guys to learn each other more. No matter how experienced a person may be, everyone likes different things so you'll have to eventually understand what works for each other.Having sex with a new person can be awkward sometimes; you're shy, full of paranoia, scaling yourself out of 10,etc.but things will get better as you get used to each other, and your confidence will grow. You need to communicate, talk to each other how you like to be pleasured, and applaud any effort being made. Dont play guess games in sex, tell each other what you want.Also, look up some literature on sex or get some tips from the internet(there are loads of them), to boost your technique since you're quite new to this.All in all, its just a matter of time, and before you know it, you'll be having great sex. You might even want to come back later and tell us how things have changed for the best.
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor  +, writes (10 September 2011):
 It's definately not common for a guy to fake it, but it really does happen. So this situation is a bit difficult to answer. But I'll give it my best. :^)Besides premature ejaculation (because I don't know how long you two were intimate), you have to consider the possibility that he probably came not too long ago before. In other words if he has been masturbating for the past few days, or he's just plainly doing it too much (which may result in an overworked penis), his sperm may not "shoot". Therfore you may not feel the sensation of his ejaculation. Because in situations like that, it would tend to drip out slowly. So, even though you may not be able to control how and when he ejaculates, you can control how YOU feel. Here are some tips that I left for another question poster that I feel may benefit you....1. Encourage more foreplay. Many times during intercourse the man usually gets off before the woman. Leaving the woman to think "is that all?". If you encourage more foreplay and ask the guy to use his tongue and hands more, you should feel better after the sex. tell him to use foreplay food (such as small fruit, honey, chocolate, or whipped cream) as well to .2. Talk dirty. I think this is self-explanatory. :^)3. Change positions. If you're always stuck doing the same position(s) all the time, change it up. You may also want to change the locations as well. Spice things up by doing it in places in the house (or out) where you never done it before. 4. Increase your stimulation. During sex, try to rub on your clitoris- and alter the speed that you do it. 5. Communicate. Let him know how you like it. Tell him to go faster, slower, harder, or deeper (so that the possibility is high for him to hit your G-spot), depending on your mood. Let him know what you like.
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