A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my daughter started a 'relationship'with a 19 year old from pakistan when she was 15.this has all been happening without our knowledge.we have now found out.she is now 16(so 'legally' she can date who she wants)she says she loves him.i am petrified that he isnt who he says he is,as she has never met him.surely he could be anybody!! she wont listen to reason and is planning on meeting him at some point and says she is going to spend her life with him.i am so scared he does not have the 'intentions' she thinks he has and i dont know what to do,as everything i say to her,she simply ignores.am i over reacting?how can i get threw to her? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): I met a guy online when I was a teenager, he lived in another country and decided to come for a visit, my mom was upset naturally and worried but she decided better that she meet him and give him a chance. I was an unusually stubborn teenager so. As it happened she loved him, and now I've been happily married to that man for 9 years with a beautiful daughter. There are plenty of horror stories out there, you definitely need to meet this guy for yourself, but things sometimes work out good too XD If he comes over as my guy did, be at the airport with her! My mom also laid some ground rules while he stayed in her home, not so many basically you can't sleep in the same room lol
A
male
reader, Uncle Phil + ♥, writes (13 May 2009):
 It's unlikely that you'll get through to her - she's a teenager! Teenagers know everything about life don't they? (and of course, their parents know nothing!)
If he's in Pakistan and likely to stay there, and your daughter here, I don't think you have much to worry about, but if he comes to visit make sure you get her to bring him home so that you can give him the 'once over' treatment. Better still, go with her when she first meets him - if indeed she does. Be insistent about it. Better safe than sorry, after all, he could be a 40 year-old paedophile who's got his hooks into her.
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A
female
reader, Annalisa +, writes (13 May 2009):
 She's young and at her age love can seem so intense.
You need to give her guidelines and advice, but ultimately you don't know the guy, he could be the best candidate as a partner!
I would suggest that if she's so serious about this relationship, you show yourself willing to welcome him in the family, as long as she brings him home to meet you.
Invite him home for dinner and try to get to know him.
If he's not all he's cracked to be, she'll soon realise herself, but she needs your support and the best way you can make it available is by showing you respect her choices from the start.
God bless you and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): You are definatley not over reacting. We are still young at 15 and 16 so we are bound to say stupid things we regret later. Try talking to her as an adult like saying 'I want to talk to you lke a mature adult because i know you can. Please'.
Maybe you could see if she could take a friend or two with her to meet him as it would be safer and it would help her 'see how he reacts to around her friends'. A man who hates your friends is much less attractive and if this man is a predator then i assume he would. Just be careful.
xxoo
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