A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please help me. I would like to hear the opinion of crossdressers and transexuals if possible on this matter but any advise would be much appreciated. I am at a loss as to what to do in the situation I am in. My boyfriend of three years is a crossdresser. Ive known about his crossdressing for years before we started dating. At first i was ok with it and tried to be as supportive as possible. This worked for a while but eventually I became bitter and unhappy whenever the issue of crossdressing was brought up. I dont know why this happened, except to say that there are a lot of issues there aside from the crossdressing and I figure that he cant have everything he wants if he doesnt do his job emotionally and fincially as a partner. He is always looking for work and losing the jobs he gets. I must contribute so much.He is sweet sometimes but has made very little effort to make me happy emotionlly for a long while now. Our sex life is good but i dont put too much weight on that anyway. We rarely talk much anymore and this means a lot to me. Anyway, so when he crossdresses or talks about that i feel bitter and hurt because this is the one thing that motivates him and he wants me to enjoy it just as much as he does, but how can I when all other aspects of our life are not happy? I feel i am losing out and he is getting what he wants and this isnt right.I think that if he was more relible in other ways and was really trying in the relationship i would be ok with the crossdressing. It would be an equal exchange.But I feel that he is getting so much more of what he wants out if the bargain and I am the one who is suffering. I love my boyfriend and am very openminded about crossdressing and even transitioning if this should ever happen. But i feel jipped. I want more out fo the relationship and im not getting it.Now he lost another job and wants to masturbate online for money in his womans clothes. I guess another reason i am resenting him so much now is because he makes it so dirty and always about sex. i could understand the urge and need to crossdress and to be a woman. but not the constant desire to make it sexual.i feel that this takes away from his case. i figure that the impulse to be a woman is understandable but i cannot understand or to;lerate this whole thing being made into some perverted sexual fetish. am i wrong to feel this way? i mean, how is is possible to make something so otherwise ok in my eyes seem so unhealthy and wrong? please any advise would help. i want to know if im being selfish, and would also like to know what peoples stance on crossdressing being a sexual rather than spiritual thing is. I want to know what peoples thoughts on this job of his are and if i should let him do it even though it feels wrong to me. i do trust him but the nature of the job just seems so wrong to me and he is asking my permission so i appreciate that. we desperately need the money. but i just dont like the idea of my boyfriend masturbating online. i just dont know what to do. Thanks and sorry if i offended anyone that was not my intention. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): Thank you both very much. I appreciate your answers. Youve given me a lot to consider.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): No offence taken. Your one smart bloody lady and kind and supportive to boot. As I understand it you can have several types of cross dressing. Sometimes it is a transition to another stage (gender reassignment) sometimes it's just a part of a sexual kink and produces arousal. I doubt that you will offend any transexuals or cross dressers here. You've been very understanding and from what I say it's not the cross dressing you have a problem with.
Underneath his lacy knickers and women's skirts, you've got yourself a lazy selfish git who thinks it's all right for you to give all the support whilst he stays at home and amuses himself. That's not on, that's not fair. Start putting down your foot, lock up his dresses, take the plug out the computer and stop having sex.
No work, no fun for him would be my puny advice to the lazy git.
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