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female
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anonymous
writes: Sometimes I have mixed feelings for my boyfriend although I know it's normal since I know I’m " in like" with him and want to be with him. Anyways, I was just wondering, could it have anything to do with my controlling ex boyfriend? We recently broke up before I started dating this guy and my ex was SO controlling you don't understand, so I just thought maybe it could be the reason why I’m having mixed feelings. Maybe I can't realize it but maybe I’m scared of getting attached because of it. I don't mean because I’m scared that he will end up like that. I mean because my ex was that controlling that I’m scared ..like I know he doesn't bother me now. This is so confusing and hard to explain. Or maybe deep inside I’m starting to really fall for this guy but since I’m still young yet I’m scared because maybe this is it ..maybe he is the one. I mean besides mixed feelings he is soooo sweet. He would never ever cheat. Anyone who knows that could tell you. He is very understanding. We started saying " I love you” too fast, so we stopped that because of the mixed feelings I was having. I mean I know it's way normal not to love someone in just almost 2 months but still. Anyways, I was just wondering if that could have anything to do with it. Thanks!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2006): Maybe you are having mixed feelings because of the fact that this new guy is such a change from your old boyfriend. If it almost seems like your new boyfriend is from another planet, this could definately be the case. You're not used to being treated this way, so you're not quite sure how to react. That's okay. Time is definately the key here. Over time you will adjust to the way this new guy does things, and then you'll be better able to understand how you feel about him. It's just too different for you to even comprehend right now, I think. Just take a deep breath, and relax. Let this relationship takes its course. You have to learn to go with the flow of things before you can adapt to them. If your old boyfriend called you up to yell at you, and you're new boyfriend calls you up just to say hello, it's no wonder you're a little freaked. Don't worry, though. This isn't a trick. This guy sounds like the real deal. A true gentleman. Good for you for finding one! Is there some secret island they are all being stored at? Just kidding. In all seriousness, though, take your time with this. Relax and let things happen one day at a time. You are overwhelming yourself and this is nothing to stress over. Enjoy your time with him, one day at a time. I hope everything works out okay for you in the long run and I wish you the best of luck. Be patient!
~RJGirl
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