A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey i have just broken with my gf for nearly one year . the reason was she didint love me , didint feel we connected like before. i still love her alot but she dosent she told me to get over it . well in a msg she wrote me was ''listen im sorry for what ive done and the pain ive caused you .. but its going to hurt me more of i jut stay with you fir the sake of you being happy .. i know u will do everything for me no matter what but i sjut feel its not worth your time doing it to me when it could be cherished by someone valuable of the commitment you do .. blame everything on me i know i haven't been the girl you have been asking for but honestly i am not it and im not going act like someone im not in front of you because it would be jut living a lie im sorry if this happened so fast espically Y when your going through this but i have to before it gets too serious and you onwt let go .. please think about the best of what can happen in the future for yourself and that im happy for whatever you do ..form the past 11 months till the day i met you i really had feelings for you and i was and i was always happy to see and hear form you and im sure i can never forget those memories i had with you . thankyou for everything you have done and this time you taken share with me hope you take care of yourself and enjoy it the most you can xo goodbye to be honest the msg she wrote does not make scene is it a good thing or bad i still want her back i feel so lonely no one to talk to or see we used to see each other 3 times during the weekdays and she come over for the weekends to sleep over . i just feel so guttered i know shes not coming back i dont know what to do im depressed i don't eat regularly go out or interact with people anyone i just don't find any of my hobbies interesting . i still love her deeply what should i do? get over it but its not that easy ...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2010): Allow yourself to grieve, but put a time limit on it each day and then force yourself to do something and you enjoy and will make you feel better. In time, you will actually balk at spending the time you set aside for grieving and start thinking...hey, I have better things to do, I don't want to do this today.
I'm sorry you are hurting. Also, google the 'steps in grieving' it will help you to understand the process better and you will go easier on yourself.
A
female
reader, A Beautiful Disaster  +, writes (5 June 2010):
 Hey :) I've had a similar problem with my boyfriend - were together for a similar length of time and he felt that we'd "stagnated". I know how hard it is because I'm going through exactly the same at the moment. He's gone and found himself a new girlfriend though (who is basically a clone of me!) and it's tearing me apart inside. Usually after the first few months of the relationship infatuation dies and you become comfortable with each other - the passion and all of the "amazing" feelings are not necessarily lost but not there as often as they once were. I think first of all you should send her a message saying that you totally agree with the break-up and that you wish her the best - this will throw her: she wouldn't be expecting this. She'll be expecting you to bombard her with texts/phonecalls/emails etc. They say that the hardest thing to do is to let the one you love go, even though it hurts you doing it. It is quite clear that she does/did care. I think maybe she thought it was better to tell you now rather than in the future, and she wasn't being too blunt about things."from the past 11 months till the day i met you i really had feelings for you and i was and i was always happy to see and hear from you and im sure i can never forget those memories i had with you" - this shows that she's not easily going to get over you. This girl probably wanted to cut you out of her life because she thought it would be easier to move on quickly or that you would yourself. Deep down she will still have those feelings, it's just a case of getting her to admit to having them still.I suggest give this girl some time to figure out what she wants to do. Don't contact her for a few days-week and see if she contacts you first. It's not easy to get over someone you have been with for as long as almost a year, so she'll still have feelings, even if she's not admitting it to herself. Give her some time, and maybe she'll come back.In the meantime, you should get yourself together and go out and enjoy yourself despite how hard it is. Get yourself back out there and have fun. You only live once and enjoy yourself while you can :) Best of luck :) xo
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry of nearly one year
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A
female
reader, mum45 +, writes (5 June 2010):
You poor man, i do feel for you .This was a very large part of your life and you need to allow yourself time to grieve.It sounds like this lady did care for you and she is trying to be honest but kind. Talk to a trusted friend or relative , in time you will start to feel better , don t rush into anything yet , it may just be that she needs time too , good luck x
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