A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Im a mother of 3 children - 1 boy 15 who has lived with his father for the past 12 months, and 2 daughters age 12 and 6. My son who lives with father has thrown him out and now wants to live with us but unfortunately there is no bedroom space and when he did live with us he stole and caused rows with my new husband and daughters.Can his father just throw him out and what is the legal position?
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female
reader, abbeymom  +, writes (27 August 2008):
 I agree with Fade878. She is right the father just can't do that. However you are responsible as well, new hubby or not, teenage problems or not for your son's welfare.We don't get married and suddenly have no room for our kids. When they are going down a path of destruction ie: stealing, lying, cheating. It's our job to help them through it. And as a mother it is your job.I would get together with the ex and your son and sit down and discuss why your ex wants him out in the first place. If it's because of the same reasons you don't want him home. Well what a grand message you are sending your son.Dad doesn't want me anymore. Mom doesn't want me either. Fade is right divorce can leave scars if the new living situation is better for the children.Those two books are excellent suggestions as well. The one that helped me most was how to talk to your kids and listen so your kids will talk. It really helped me with my 9 year old when his father and I split.No matter what this boy needs some help. He needs his parents support and guidance and love and understanding to make it through whatever it he is feeling. And he needs help coping with his anger.Check your local community center. There are usually many programs that can help free of charge for teens in trouble and dealing with anger. And parent teen courses to help build on your communication.Bottom line. Your son didn't ask for the path both you and your ex husband took. But he's on it and seems now is a little lost going off trail. So get out the bread and give him some crumbs. It's your duty to do so.Good Luck!~ Abbeymom
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