A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I dated someone last year for about 6 months and it was very serious. We broke up over the summer but have been talking again since September, making our "relationship" about a year long in total. We haven't been with anyone sexually since we first were together.My question is, we are not officially dating. We are in the weird in-between stage where I feel attached to him, we act like we are in a relationship and we are not. I'm afraid he is using me while I am around and will discontinue things once it becomes convenient because he hasn't asked me out. He insists he loves me and is taking things slow, but there is no slow to how we are when we are together!I don't want to get hurt, and I don't want to commit myself to someone without it being legitimate.How wrong would it be if I decided to see other people at the same time? He has had the chance to ask me out and he hasn't... Isn't he asking for it?Would it be wrong if I just didn't tell him unless he asked? I have become a lot closer with a couple male friends who are interested in me...I feel like I would be cheating... But I wouldn't be.
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female
reader, AskMelissa  +, writes (22 March 2009):
 It is not wrong to go out with other guys at the same time. You are right, he has had a chance to ask you out but hasnt. If you guys arnt going out then you can date and flirt with who ever you want to. If he has a problem with it, set him straight, tell him that he had the chance of asking you out but didnt.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): No. It is not cheating at all! He had his chance and now does not want to make it official. If you have a chance to find someone else who will give you all the attention you need, then go for it! If he realizes his mistake and you still want him, then consider giving him a chance again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): I think you need to work out exactly what you want here. If you're still keen to make a go of it with your 'ex' it's time to 'put up or shut up' as it were, and either make it happen or move on. The fact your ex is being wishy-washy says to me he's not all that interested, and is, as you say using you.
As to the question of seeing other people. If you are not in a relationship then of course it is fine to see someone else. So it comes back to determining - once and for all - whether you are indeed really in a relationship or not.
All the best :)
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