A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm really extroverted and sociable; I have loads of friends and am generally pretty nice, but it seems to scare a lot of "introverted"/nice/geeky guys off as I guess I come across as rather in your face. I went out with a friend of mine (who's almost the complete opposite of me though still a pretty decent person) the other night and though he's quite a nice chap I found it so hard to get along with him and really connect. I can make friends with someone 5 minutes after I've met them, but though I tried chatting to him as much as i could and we obviously found each other attractive we just didn't connect at all. I'd make a joke and he'd completely not get it, and he doesn't have the same open attitude to other people as I do. I'm so disappointed.I've done one of those personality type things and apparently I'm an ENTJ so the partner most suited to me would be an introvert, but for some reason I just never really seem to connect as much with introverts? Most of my friends are extroverts, and in fact a lot of the people I don't get on with are introverts as they have a tendency to talk behind my back about me being too "loud" or not be open with me even though I do listen to people.Thanks :) Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2013): Me and my fiance have been together for 6 years and engaged for a year. He's an extrovert and I'm introvert, and we're very happy together. He gets that I don't like to have attention drawn to me, and prefer one to one, and I know he likes to be social and likes attention. We compromise with each other, and are understanding of what we like/dislike, and take it into account. Yes, it is a bit annoying for me when he's very loud when in public, but I try to not let it bother me, because I love him. It works for us, so I don't see why it can't work for others too!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2013): The possibility that opposites attract, is based on a chemistry that sparks between them the moment they meet. If you are "in your face," you may want to tone it down a bit. It's always a good idea to gauge your energy when you approach a stranger. Introverts like attention like anyone else. They prefer that attention to be low key.It's socially awkward for them to stand out. They are rarely gossipy as you say. I personally can't recall a rumor traced back to a shy and introverted person. They usually have few friends in closed circles.It also spooks guys in general when girls come on too strong. That's just the way we are.It also helps when you aren't too eager or excitable upon meeting someone for the first time. It doesn't always come across well; whether you're introverted or extroverted. There are degrees of extroversion. They might think you're a little kooky. That isn't always attractive to people in general. Most people don't like to draw attention due to loud talking and boisterousness in inappropriate settings. They may even find that behavior over-bearing or crude.In a party situation, you're the hit.I'd say you pretty well know those appreciative of your your style and character; and should continue to go for those more compatible with your own personality. That way, you can be yourself. To each his own. Those tests you mentioned are totally subjective. The results are totally unscientific.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2013): I think introverts can be attracted to extroverts, if you have an introverted side to you, or you are naturally nice. Don't know about connecting. Introverts are generally not very good at connecting quickly. Maybe repeated one to one interactions will help.
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