A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago. The worse thing ever is that I still live with him. We've been together for 5 years and lived together for 3. We usually do everything together whenever he gets off work early etc. But I can't adapt that he goes out somewhere without me' when he has time.I would move out, but for now I don't have a job. And my family is very far from here. I don't want to move back with my family because that's mainly the reason why i moved out. So my plan is to stay here, get a job, get my own apt, finish college.. but its so hard for me to heal and forget, since we live together. I need positivity and support , i know i should move on and I tell myself that every second. And i try to just find a job, concentrate on my career path, but when he gets home from work, don't talk to me, don't kiss me, and change his clothes and go out.. I feel so so lonely and just terrible.
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (7 June 2010):
 Look there are times in life when you have to accept you are in a bad situation and do what is best - and in your case you need to move back with your family.
I went through the exact same situation as you - I split up with my ex when we were living together and it was horrible, carrying on living together when you have split up is about the worst thing you can do. What I did was swallow my pride (I had just lost my job so had nothing keeping me in that city really) and moved back in with my parents on a short term basis.
Yes it was horrible, I loved living away from my family and moving back in was painful! I missed my freedom, my family got on my nerves, I was still upset about the break-up which made it all worse, and to top it off I was unemployed. But really I did not have much choice - when you dont have a job your family are the only people you can rely on to support you regardless of whether you want to move back or not.
So you need to move out right away - and if it is not possible to afford your own place now then you have to move back with your family. You dont have to move back for long, just until you get back on your feet. While you are there you can focus on finding a good job and sorting out your education without incurring any expense. If you try and live on your own now you will only feel more lonely because there will be no-one around for you to talk to, you will be working all hours to pay for your place and will not be able to study due to working too much to pay for your rent.
Do you have many friends in the area you could possibly stay with? That is another option, to move in with friends so you have some company and it will be much cheaper than living alone.
Dont stay put and wallow in your own misery - your boyfriend has clearly moved on if he is going out most nights so dont stay home feeling sorry for yourself, you need to get your life back on track. Sitting at home feeling sad is not going to make anything better, so start taking some action! Talk to friends, search for jobs, talk to your family to see if they can help you...do anything in your power to start standing on your own 2 feet.
Yes a break-up is terrible and you will be sad for a long time, but you have to try and pull yourself together and get on with your life. The world has not ended just because you are not together, yes your world has changed a lot but you now need to start taking action otherwise he might end up kicking you out of the house and then you will be in an even worse situation than you are now.
You are your own person and you can function without a man, remember that. Now start taking control and sort your life out before it gets any worse.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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