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Boyfriend cheated and now says he can't get over her!

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 February 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 23 February 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend of three years cheated on me for two months. We agreed to stay together after I found out on the condition that he is not to have any contact with her again. Since then, he's broken up with me four times, telling me that he can't get over her. It's only been a month! What can I do to help him get over her and be happy with me?

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A female reader, Jen1689 United States +, writes (23 February 2011):

Jen1689 agony auntThis guy cheated on you AND has broken up with you four times claiming that he's in love with another girl and can't get over her? There are so many things wrong with this picture. Why is HE dumping YOU? You should have dumped his ass the minute you found out he was cheating. Cheaters don't deserve a second chance. Especially this guy. Leave him and move on with your life and find a guy who really appreciates you and won't make you second-best to some chick he cheated on you with. Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well, just to clarify a few things...

I've made it clear to him that if he breaks up with me, I will not get back together with him. The reason for this is that I will not be a last resort. If he wants to try things with her, fine, but I won't be waiting around for him to see that I'm better.

Also, I've tried telling him that I would rather break up than continue a relationship like this, but when I did, he begged me to stay with him and told me he didn't want to be without me. He wants to be with me, he's just having a hard time moving past her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011):

two options

1) dump him

let him go he thinks hes gonna be happier with her let him find out if he is or not

2)am a girl but i was in you bf's shoes and the reason i couldnt stop thinking about the other person was because he was a lot more fun then my bf... so try doing things he likes and doing fun new things am not saying go over bord but try doing things he always wanted to try but never did, just speaking from experiance not saying its going to work out the same way.

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A female reader, MistressNataliee United Kingdom +, writes (23 February 2011):

Im afraid you cant do anything. If he loves this girl you should leave him or hes going to cause you more trouble and heartache. Who knows? If you leave him you might get back together a few months later. If hes done it once, hell do it again. Trust me, leave him. I know 3 years is a long time, but so is 2 months when youve been in long relationship and youre cheating on them. Or try relationship counselling?

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A female reader, lovevivi United States +, writes (23 February 2011):

lovevivi agony auntthat may not be possible. give him some time to cool off and see what he chooses to do but honestly you can't force him into choosing you ):

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A female reader, OhGetReal United States +, writes (23 February 2011):

OhGetReal agony auntYour boyfriend is breaking up with you. Why would you want to be back together with a guy who keeps jerking you around? You can't fix this you can't control him or "convince" him not to see her and stay with you. It doesn't work that way. Kick him to the curb and cut off all contact with him and I mean all contact. Move on with your life, that is the ONLY chance you have of getting him back as it will force him to confront his feelings and take responsibility. He may not come back and trust me you're better off. You don't want to marry and divorce. Let him go to her.

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