A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend started birth control about a month ago. However, ever since she's been on it, she's been feeling ill pretty much every evening, and on the occasional days she actually feels fine, she's not interested in sex! She tells me she "wants to want to have sex", which is confusing, because if she wanted to, couldn't she just decide to do it? I don't want to force her into it or anything, but I've tried to get her in the mood. I tried watching porn with her (she actually likes porn. My girlfriend is so cool), but she didn't seem any different afterwards. I've also tried kissing her in places that I know turn her on, like her ears or her stomach, but she stops me as soon as I get started. Normally, I wouldn't let this get to me so much, but she'll be leaving the country in a week for several months, so it's not like I have much time to spend with her and work this through. It's getting kind of frustrating, for me and for her.Is there anything I can do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2009): I've had this sort of thing as well. It's really horrible. you should be there for her and try support her. I ended up going off of it. What does she mean?
Well with me i couldnt get wet. i was horny in my head and i really wanted to do it but my body wouldn't respond and sex was painful and i wasn't wet. it ended up i just didnt want to do it or i was afraid to do it knowing it would end up hurting because i wasn't getting turned on properly.
you could try using lubrication. Try get her to dress up in kinky things that will make her feel good about herself. Tell her how much you love her and care about her. Make her feel special to be loved and make her feel that you are special and need to be loved.
There is the possibility that she is now feeling 'stressed' (she may not be aware of it even) and might make her non responsive.
I agree with the previous. she should still be doing things for you although i know its not the same thing as you want to be with them and not just one way. But at the same time. i think that would be good for both of you. That was my solution for a while. i felt happy that i COULD do something for him even if not sex and he was enjoying it which make me more satisfied.
Again, i agree with the previous poster - get a new method of contraception. Best thing for it. or even just go off the pill for the next few weeks until she leaves and she can go back on it when shes gone.
Hope this helps.
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