A
male
age
41-50,
*ailroader
writes:I married my best friend. She's going through some problems within herself, but somehow it ends up being something that I'm not doing right, enough, remembering to do. I'm starting to feel like I'm the actual problem and she just don't know how to say it. Is it me? What can I do?
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male
reader, HeartBlossom +, writes (4 December 2007):
 Here's a quick checklist to see if you have your bases covered:- Do you find things to admire in her and voice your praise?- Do you give her ordinary affection often (hugging, touching, massage, etc.)?- Do you groom yourself and try to make yourself attractive to her on occasion?- Do you take the time to converse with her for a good while every day?- Do you perform a reasonable share of the household chores?- Do you make a contribution to the household finances?- Are you always honest with her?- If you have dependents, do you demonstrate your concern for the family and put some work into it as well?- Do you share non-sexual recreational activities with your wife on a regular basis? - Do you meet her sexual needs?If you're really doing all that while also maintaining a reasonable emotional temperament (no selfish demands, outbursts, etc.), then no, it's not you.But if you can see that you're not covering all these bases, then you need to admit that and work on it without having her nag you. The reward is that you can bring the same list to her if she's not meeting you half way.
A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (3 December 2007):
 Well whatever the problem may be, you both married eachother because you are both devoted into working together to overcome any obstacle that may come your way. You said it yourself. She is going through some problems within herself. Be there for her. Dont blame anyone for the cause, simply look for a solution. She just needs you by her side . Talk things with her and figure out what is really bothering her. Every marriage is based on communication so this is the time you must use it. Dont worry, i know you'll both be able to overcome this all.
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