A
female
age
36-40,
*nge555
writes:I just came out of a 4 year relationship,not by my choice, i am davastated beyond belief. i know there should be no contact but we have a 1 year old girl together so have remained "friends'' but everytime i see him he tries to sleep with me and tell me all the things i want to hear, sends texts like ''i know we're both doing our own thing now..but i want you to know i still love you and miss you'hwe plays all sorts of mind games with me but is sleeping with another girl.. when i tell him this he says '''she's just a root,its not like yourgoing to keep sleeping with me is it'' please help im falling apart and need some strength and advice to get through this
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): Cut all contact, why are you letting him do this?
I had a friend go through something similar with a girl he shared a kid with, he just cut her off and put all contact about the kid through his mother. Cut him out of your life, I mean seriously ange555 is he even being a good friend to you by doing this?
Talk to your mother, father or even a close friend that will help you out and ask them if they will act as intermediary.
My friend got his mother to do it, all access of his kid would be through her all contact would through her. He stopped reading her texts, he blocked her on everything and eventually she got the message. You see friends doesn't work, she knew she had power over him still and she tried to use that to use him and he gave in a few times too. But after a while when he stopped responding to her, she got no satisfaction and the hassle of having to do everything through his mother made her realize that she had to stop all that stuff and she did after a few months. She calmed down and stopped the harassment, they can now meet up to collect the kid etc, she never texts him unless it's about the child and they are nice to each other when they meet that way but it never goes any further. They will talk for maybe five minutes and if there's an issue go to do with the child then she can ring him. But if she starts all that mind games stuff again then she loses that privilege again.
You have to do the same. So either cut him off until he stops this mind game crap or just put up with it. But you don't have to be friends to raise a child together in fact he's not being a good friend at all so dump him.
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