| A
age
36-40,
*
writes: Hi,My question may seems lame to most people, but i juz need to ask.firstly, like many women, i like to be pampered. when i dated A, i had already told him, i am not easy to be with as i am very sensitive person n get touchy easily. he insisted that he can learn n never to give up trying to pamper me when i feel down. i do however told him that, if we ever have an argument, please juz text me. even the text says 'i will call u in an hour or two' or 'text me once u cool down k (",)'. i know my weakness, when A hurt me, i need A to at least text me anything except bitter things so that my mind dont overthink it. but instead, he left and MIA for awhile.now, almost 8 months together, i guess pampering me n all had taken a toll in this relationship. he totally MIA for days.. last month, he MIA for a week.. all his promises to me to never leave me alone whenever we had arguments had been broken. no call, text or even msg in FB.. actually the worst part, after all these, he won't let us end the relationship. he said, he still loves me sincerely. am i being insane for feeling somehow hurt n abandoned by his action? is it possible that he has lost interest in me n the only reason not to break up is simply e is tired of searching? am i not worth for even a text msg..? i feel so sad n i had been crying every night b4 sleep n morning when i wake up.. pleas please please help me to figure this one out..
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi everybody,
thank you for your feedback.. i appreciate all comments and help which was given to me.. i know my problem with 'pamper thingy' will lead to this..
he called me yesterday and our conversation was very civil, but our conversation today was bitter.. my fault i guess, cuz i called him today.. i really don't know what to do next..
and may anyone advice me how to be less emotional..? and how not to be so high-maintenance ..? i honestly cannot control it.. any method in handling this..?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2012): "he won't let us end the relationship."
DUH! He's not letting you end the relationship, but he's out having fun with other women, hence his frequent prolonged MIA's.
"he said, he still loves me sincerely."
He's lying because he thinks you're dumb enough to believe everything he says while paying no attention to what he does, like going MIA without explanation for days. I suspect he may be correct.
"am i being insane for feeling somehow hurt n abandoned by his action?"
No, you're just being needy, self-absorbed, vacuous and high maintenance without comprehending the reality that you've been dumped.
"is it possible that he has lost interest in me n the only reason not to break up is simply e is tired of searching?"
No, he's likely just exhausted from putting up with you for eight months and he probably (and from my POV justifiably) believes formally breaking up with you simply isn't worth the sustained physical effort that officially dumping you will require.
"am i not worth for even a text msg..?"
No, see previous paragraph.
"i feel so sad n i had been crying every night b4 sleep n morning when i wake up.."
I'm sorry to hear that, which is probably more than boyfriend cares, but then I haven't had to put up with you
for the past eight months like he has.
"pleas please please help me to figure this one out.."
I've tried. May not be what you want to hear and I may express myself in less-than-delicate terms, but I've tried to help you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2012): Can't you see that it is the way YOU are behaving that is damaging this relationship?
You have to try to stop being so needy & touchy or you are soon going to find out that NO ONE will want to be with you because you are too high mantanance!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2012): You seem a little too much high-maintenance i.e you demand too much attention, do you "pamper" him too, or just expect to be pampered? If so you may be a little selfish and maybe he's taking some time off to think whether you're worth it ( i.e so much effort and time on his part and little retribution, or maybe you just got on his nerve with all that sensitivity, I know that i would have, as I find people who demand too much attention all the time, needy and annoying.
There are too many maybes you see, cause we don't know the guy, why don't you swallow your pride and text him yourself.
" he won't let us end the relationship."
There is NO such a thing, if you want to broke up with him that's it.
You're not insane for feeling hurt, confront him, why isn't he calling? if he doesn't want to break up why does he ignore you and hurt your feeling by doing so? he can't leave you in the limbo you need a closure, go after him and get the answers, it's ok to cry a little after the break up but at least you can move on, better than be in this undefined situation.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (14 March 2012):
 Pampering somebody else on a regular basis is nothing short of exhausting... I do think its taken a toll on him and you've possibly been on a pedestal for way too long. Can I ask what you do to pamper him in return?
...............................
|
