A
female
age
51-59,
*aphneE
writes:9 Years ago I had a baby by C-section. I had not had sex for 8 years (From 2 months pregnant until 14 months ago). I met my current boyfriend of 14 months and on 3 occasions (1 recently) he told me that he doesn't feel my vagina at all during sex. I learned how to give him fabulous oral sex, which he loves and wants all the time. More than vaginal intercourse. He says that he loves me, wants to marry me and won't cheat on me. I broke up with him because I told him that since I love him and can't satisfy him that way that I want him to be happy with someone else and I don't want to have to worry about him cheating on me.The thing is he does ejaculate lots of times during vaginal sex, If he doesn't feel anything how can he be aroused to that point. Also he doesn't want to break up with me. I am so distraught, I don't know what to do. I can't sleep, I am making myself sick physically with worry and I just don't know what to do. Please advise.
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female
reader, DaphneE +, writes (1 March 2009):
DaphneE is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, my boyfriend masturbates alot. I hadn't considered this. We don't live together. Normally we see each other 2-3 times a week. He tells me that he masturbates when he is not with me which averages to 1 times daily. We discussed moving in together over the next year and he said that things would be different, whereas he wouldn't need to masturbate anymore. I just didn't know that this could have any affect on our relations.
As for checking myself out. I plan to but this is so embarassing. Like I said I had my one and only child by C-section. My vagina did not have time to stretch, or be cut. And then I didn't have sex for nearly 8 years (by choice) after the birth of my son. When my boyfriend and I initially started having sex, I felt like he was too big for me. I felt like a virgin all over again. There are even sometimes now (after 14 months of dating) that I feel all tight upon him entering me.
This is definitely hard for me, because in this scenario I feel like its my fault (somehow). It is really affecting my self esteem. I am a perfectionist, I aim to please my man and now I feel like I can't do that. So you know I'm going to pieces over this.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): See your doctor. Have an internal exam. They will tell you if everything is normal down there. After having two natural births (35 years ago) I had a surgery to tighten things up. Afterwards I got pregnant for a third time, I opted to have a c-section so as not to undue the previous surgery. Over 35 years later, I am still just fine in that dept. I am so glad I did what I did when I did it!
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