| A
female
,
*indy lou And Babbi
writes: Hate being me!I am 14 and am at a difficult age in life. I discover who I am and I really don't like who I am sometimes. I always mount myself up to everyone else and know that they are better then me. I think I am fat, ugly and thick and I'm feeling really low. I get really attached to lads and when I really like someone and they don't like me that gets me really down and I can't seem to get up again. I'm confused about who I am and don't like what I see in the mirror. I don't do that well at school in exams and I get to the point where I ask myself 'what's the point'. Confused and feeling low. Needing your help!!frm babbi x Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Mr S  +, writes (18 July 2006):
 You are at the down of discovering who you are, a very trick time of your life where it feels like the whole world is against you and nobody loves you. This is called puberty every one over the age of twenty has been through it. But that’s no real help is it? The fact is that you need to build your self esteem. You are as clever as anyone else, and as good as anyone else and remember you don’t have to prove it. I will let you into a secret (Well it was a secret but for you I will share it with the world) I am a mature man my children think I’m 1006 years old and when I was about 7 years of age the school discovered I was dyslexic (I once spent 2 Hours looking for Phone in the dictionary, nothing wrong in that you might say. Ups I forgot to tell you I was looking under “f” ) this lead to hours and hours of amusement for both the teachers and my class mates. This ridicule lead me to total despair. Later when I was your age it was horrific, but I plodded on. I understand how it feels to be different and an outcast. I was hopeless at school work as well. I was once told by a teacher that if intelligence was altitude he would need a ladder to clime down and visit me.
You are probably asking what the point of this is. Well I have two degrees, one in software engineering and the second in teaching. I point this out not to brag but to tell you that with hard work you can achieve. You can get what you desire in life.
By the way I am ugly too boot, but I still managed to find someone that loves me very much. She likes my personality. Gust as well, I have no good lucks.
You will find your way in life gust as I did and many others have, You are not alone in the world. Think of me the closest thing to Quasimodo you will ever see with an IQ of 9 (I purchased a dog to bauble my IQ he has an IQ of 4.5) and I made it. Cheer up; be true to yourself and you will be fine. And when you are feeling low think of me Quasimodo teaching in a classroom and smile
Mr S
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006): Hey, i kind of know how you are feeling i have just turned 14 and i go through these phases of thinking the world will be a better place without me. I used to have this group of friends who i felt were perfect in every single way, the petty one, the artistic one, the clever one, etc and i would compare myself to them all the time. It made me feel like life was pointless and i went through periods of self harm. But then I realized that I was my own person, nobody needs to compare themselves to other people because that just gets you down. People tend to set false levels for themselves to live up to. If you compare yourself to the skinniest person in your class than of course you are going to feel fat, and if you compare youself to the cleverest person in your class than your going to feel dumb. But you're not, you can't make an image of yourself based around other people.
You've got your whole life ahead of you, you have to carry on for ther amazing guy you're going to meet one time in your life who will otherwise be lonely for the rest of his life. You have to carry on for your family, whose lifes will grid to a halt without you but most of all you have to carry on for yourself, look back in a few years time and you'll be glad you carried on because you'll be happy with who you are and where you are going. You just have to give yourself time to find yourself but until you do just hang in there. Everybody goes through stages of depression at this age you've just got to keep smiling and you'll get through it allright.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006): Hey, same, same! ^_^ I'm 14 too, and I felt the same way as you not to long ago and a little bit like that now. My best friends ditched me and I had absolutely no one at school. I thought too 'whats the point? I can just end it all right now.' but I thought about it and realised if I ended it all I wouldn't just be killing myself but killing my family too. They would be devastated. I found things to live for, things which I still wanted to acommplish in life and I life for them. I'm sure you're state isn't quite the same as mine but the answer is the same. You just have to live it through and take life as it comes. I'm sure your not fat or ugly. This may be a bit harsh but I was once told 'if you really did care you would do something about it.' and thats all I can say to you. If your unhappy with your grades, study more. If your unhappy with you're appearence then change it. If you fancy a guy, take more time to get to know them before getting really attached. Getting attached to soon to a guy especially if you don't know them really well can be dangerous because they might see that as a weakness in you one day and take advantage of that. I will admit it takes effort and you're probably thinking 'I can't do that'. If I could live through it so can you. I'm not a strong person. I have no self-esteem, confidence in myself charisma but I'm alive right now.There is nothing more depressing than comparing yourself to people who seem to have it all. Trust me, I'd know.
...............................
A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (15 July 2006):
 Stop this my dear, do not say that you are thick, fat and ugly because it is simply not true. You are a unique, special person and dont ever forget that. Just because one lad doesnt like you, doesnt mean that there isnt a perfect oneout there for you. You need to speak positivity into your life, then you will feel better about yourself and start to do better in school. Dont ever put yourself down. xXx
...............................
A
female
reader, lovinlife +, writes (13 July 2006):
Well I feel your pain I was feeling like that when I was 14 I know what your going through...
but they part about measuring up to other people DONT!
because I'm pretty sure that they are doing the same thing.
If you dont like who you are then change it find some goals that you want to work towards and GO FOR IT!!
we all get confused about who we are where were going to go and it does take time to figure that out you have plenty of time to figure it out
honey the world is at your door. Go answer it
...............................
|
