A
male
age
41-50,
*sitlove
writes:I am trying to figure out if this girl is interested in me or not.She works in the same office building as mine but for another company and there is a common roaming area for all downstairs.I have been noticing her for last 8 months though i never felt any kind of noticing/response from her.But for the last 1 month i have been feeling it,initially i felt she was noticing me,then we started having eye contact(though not very regularly) and my friends tell me she looks at me at times when i am not looking at her.Also i have seen her friends giggling with her and talking something in her ear and then she smiling whenever they see me.I dont even know her name and have never talked to her.Are these signs that she may be interested and i could possibly approach her to ask her out ?? The thing thats made me curious is the difference,she didnt notice for 7 months and now she is......Please advise Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Mr smarty  +, writes (26 February 2009):
One can know signs,such as looking,smiling and also by the way u feel.
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male
reader, isitlove +, writes (31 January 2009):
isitlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey missaqua..what happened,you have stopped writing to me..
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reader, isitlove +, writes (19 January 2009):
isitlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou are right..whatever has to happen will happen..i know I cant do anything now but just advice me on whether I should observe the situation or should I stop thinking about it altogether ?? What I was thinking is that its all a game of psychology so if I totally ignore her now(as in don’t look her at all types),could that have an impact on her?? She knows I like her and would this behavior make her think ?? I am asking this as you are a girl urself and could give me some insights on the girl psychology……
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009): well not really much u can do i guess obviously nobody really knows what's in her head how can they maybe she just needs to get over herself lol whatever happens happens suppose :)
my situation moving :D:D he actually craned his head to look at me and there was the eye-contact then that crazy smile :D you'll soon find someone better so go have fun wayhay :D:D xx
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reader, isitlove +, writes (14 January 2009):
isitlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi buddy,
I would be very surprised if she was playing with me,never got those kind of vibes..And on that she is playing hard to get I want to tell you a couple of things….1) When last week she started showing BIG BIG signs of her interest I felt it was because she was getting anxious on whether I will approach her again or not..But by that logic she should have agreed to talk to me which didn’t happen…2)Since I spoke to her yesterday she has been staying far away from me,the kind of signs one would call as ignoring someone big time……if she was just playing hard to get why would she now ignore so massively??
Can you understand this behavior of hers…..hey and sorry for asking u these stupid questions and bugging you,but still hoping for your help..you are a friend after all ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2009): I should warn you I'm an optimist but don't COMPLETELY rule it out yet because those signs were pretty suggestive why else would she KEEP looking at you all this time and the whole awareness of being close and everything i mean seems to me there are only two possibilities, she likes you and is playing really really hard to get GIRLS DO THIS believe me or she was purposely pretending for a joke which i always doubted but i dunno now maybe. don't feel stupid because it's not like you made a fool of yourself you took the bold move that brave people take u approached someone you like i mean i have trouble saying hi to people im interested in but i feel your pain friend i dont know really just think life goes on i suppose all you can do is that she may approach you but she ciuld be stringing you along im sorry for your blow at current though feel your pain :( sure we can be friends :) xx
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reader, isitlove +, writes (13 January 2009):
isitlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Missaqua,
My case is finished buddy.I went upto her again and asked..Can we talk for a minute ??.....and she said…NO…..
Its over and I was very disappointed,just felt so stupid and cheated..If she was not interested why show so many signs ?? I wish you Good Luck for your situation,hope you get him !! Heyy I know its stupid to ask but can you figure out why she did this to me ??
And you have been a great friend all through..Lets remain friends..Give me your email ID so that we could keep in touch….
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reader, isitlove +, writes (12 January 2009):
isitlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHeyy Missaqua,
I was planning to speak to her today but when I did see her coming there were a lot of people in the area and I decided not to talk.But her behavior today has made me really depressed.She didn’t look at me even once and sat far off from where I was sitting.While last week she was showing sooo much interest and today this kind of behavior has made me really depressed.What could be the reason for this sudden change ?? Please advice what should I do now?? And could there still be doubt of whether she likes me or not ??
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2009): most probably this was the reason i mean i noticed my guy was acting more distant i was a bit panicky lol cos i thought manybe he's gone off me and that's why im planning to show interest rememeber there is no rush if you feel now is the right time make sure you're confident girls LOVE it but try to draw the line at arrogance trying to hard or a player haha of course it wont hurt to wait if she's really interested she'll will eventually approach you, im a nervous wreck lol but at last resort i will go for the bullet, thing is haven't got much time until i leave eek!! relax and go with the flow :)
dont suppose you've got any thoughts on my dilemma if u dont mind checking haha : http://www.dearcupid.org/question/having-some-trouble-knowing-if-this-guys-interested.html
good luck xx
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reader, isitlove +, writes (11 January 2009):
isitlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Missaqua,
Thanks for your advice.You told me not to make much eye contact with her,which i did and i feel perhaps thats the reason she has started making so much eye contact with me..last week was just amazing,we kept on looking at each other for ages at times..Its been 20 days since i talked to her and i feel it is that i should approach her again,i dont want to leave it for too late..i am kind of getting anxious as i feel she likes me now and if i approach her she wont refuse..As you said follow the instinct,i feel i should go upto her again..plan to do it in the next 1 or 2 days..hopefully she will agree !!
Nice to hear that we are having similar situations :-)..I am sure you will get this man soon..
By The way..do you think she started making so much eye contact in the last week as she got uncertain as well on whether i will approach her again or not ????
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2009): sorry about the late reply, you should be smiling at her and making more eye-contact because of these signs believe me she likes you if she was just messing about she would not be giving you so many good signs, the constant looking over at you whilst not giggling with friends the nervousness.
look im sort of in the exact same situation at the moment and the guy was always looking in my direction when he sees me, eye-contact but I was avoiding his looks ignoring him because of pride issues anxiety rejection that sort of thing he's been at this for a while but it seems lately he's given up making much less eye-contact and that has made ME want him him more than ever now he's not looking much im planning to make eye-contact and i want him REALLY bad so you see what im saying? part of dating is the fun and mystery of the chase so would keep catching her eye but maybe not jump in yet- mayb if you end upsitting next to her you could make conversation but only do this if you can think of something interesteing original to say DONT mention the weather f xample lol, it will work out and remember to trust your instinct :D
what have you been doing in the meantime?? xx
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reader, isitlove +, writes (9 January 2009):
isitlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey Missaqua,
I had been behaving exactly as suggested by you and 2 days back had started getting a feeling that its drying down,that though there is no effort from her side to ignore me but she is not showing the kind of active interest she has been showing earlier.But in the last 2 days there has been a dramatic shift.She is giving signals which he has never done till now..she is sitting close to where I sit,looks in my direction quite frequently,she seems nervous at times whenever near me…Basically a lot of very very positive signs….Now tell me what to do?? Should I approach her now as she is conveying great signals ??
Infact now I feel that I will be extremely surprised if she doesn’t reply positively to my asking her out,given the signs I have been getting for the last 2 days….Please advise..
Hey just to add to my last post her eye contact has only increased.Yesterday she started looking and I had the LONGEST eye contact I have ever had with a girl.Whenever she passes by she looks while at times she doesn’t but in those cases she turns back and looks…..Please tell me,is it a case of sure shot attraction from her side or there is a possibility that she is having fun only…….
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reader, isitlove +, writes (7 January 2009):
isitlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey Missaqua,
I had been behaving exactly as suggested by you and 2 days back had started getting a feeling that its drying down,that though there is no effort from her side to ignore me but she is not showing the kind of active interest she has been showing earlier.But in the last 2 days there has been a dramatic shift.She is giving signals which he has never done till now..she is sitting close to where I sit,looks in my direction quite frequently,she seems nervous at times whenever near me…Basically a lot of very very positive signs….Now tell me what to do?? Should I approach her now as she is conveying great signals ??
Infact now I feel that I will be extremely surprised if she doesn’t reply positively to my asking her out,given the signs I have been getting for the last 2 days….Please advise..
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): I meant that if you keep looking over at her you'll most probably come across as needy- you should try and show someone you're interested in that you have your own life and you may look a bit desperate, if you catch her looking at you THEN look at her, about the tea- yes i don't see any other reason why she should travel all the way across the room seems like the sort of thing i would do for sure it's a very positive thing she wants to be near you in your view if she didn't have interest she would distance herself from you or if she wanted to push you away. Dating has all sorts of complications some women are challenges, somepeople like the chase some play games you've already shown interest keep some eye-contact and i still stand at let her come to you-if it's the same in maybe a week or two try again good luck xx
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reader, isitlove +, writes (31 December 2008):
isitlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Missaqua,
I have started implementing ur suggestions and am ensuring that I don’t hold eye contact at all.But please tell me why do u think eye contact shudnt be held..any specific reason there??
Also I want to tell u a situation which is happening post my talking to her,it might seem trivial but I felt it cud be important.As I told there is a common roamig area where we see each other and we have a tea stall there and we have tea sitting there.Now me and my friends have a seat where we always sit and if one has to throw the tea cup he/she has to pass very closely to us to do that otherwise one has to go to the other dustbin which is a little far off.Now before my talking to her she always used to walk past us to throw the cup but since my talking to her she would go to the other dustbin(which was a little far) to throw her cup and I felt it cud be a deliberate way to avoid me.But yesterday she again started walking past me to throw her cup and has been doing so since.This thing might be insignificant but I felt it cud be important so I told u..what do u think??
Also one thing is clear..she is making no obvious efforts to ignore me..infact the way she is glancing at me seems as it was before I talked to her..though I m avoiding eye contact with her now as suggested by u…..what do u make of the entire situation ?????
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): ok wait longer than 5 days i would say definitely at least a week if u approach her too often she could end up thinking of you as desperate, weird obsessive be careful with that.
also dont completely ignore her she may be more shy than u realised and that would push her away keep distant, just make a lot less eye contact. about the "too availible" thing it's a possibility but remember you've been establishing eye-contact for a month so i wouldn't dwell on that, of course everyone's different but trust me as a girl after a month i would accept the offer for sure- however nothing less than two wks for the very reason you said, keep an open mind for the moment and if she really likes you she will eventually come to you good luck :D xx
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reader, isitlove +, writes (29 December 2008):
isitlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Missaqua,
What you are saying is making sense to me..I think your assessment that she was shocked by my approach and got nervous herself looks quite possible to me..Another reason I feel is that girls could be skeptical of showing interest to men in the very first instance for the fear of being branded as “ easily available”..could that be a reason as well as she could well have said “ I don’t want to talk to u” or “Please don’t bother me” if she wanted to discourage me from harbouring any hopes about her…Could this be right ??
And on the next approach,you have suggested that I igmore her for some time..would this be a better approach or asking her again in the next 5-6 days ??
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): weird it's somewhat a surprise she didn't welcome you i guess thinking realistically think it was probably because the nervous stuttering thing making her feel unconfortable, particularly around her friends- she may just have been taken aback it's a bold move but-
im almost sure she does like you from what you initially described important thing is to now leave it and keep distant you don't want to look too keen it was a pretty bold move you should wait for her to now come to you hopefully she'll follow you up but listen STAY POSITIVE there are no staple staple rules for dating everyone's different she may have issues nobody knows for sure why she didn't welcome you im sure she likes you- otherwise why would she pay you all the attentioN, why did she KEEP making eye-contact with you and why are you known with all her friends don't give up there's something there, wait a few weeks if she hasn't persued try again- if it turns out she doesn't like you (seriously doubt it) there's nothing to lose, hang in there xxx
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reader, isitlove +, writes (24 December 2008):
isitlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello missaqua777 and other friends,
Because of the support provided by you guys yesterday I finally did muster the courage and went upto her.She was with 2 other females when I asked her..Excuse me,can I talk to u for a minute??...she asked..about what??....now though I had approached her confidently at this moment got slightly nervous and said this is what I want to tell u or something like this I said,infact I mumbled a bit as well….then she said..I am kinda busy !!!!…I just said OK and went ahead…..at that moment I didn’t know what had happened….The thing is that I couldn’t communicate much to her though I feel she would have gotten the idea loud and clear that I am interested….Where do you think it stands now ??
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): ok when i like someone that is exactly what i do, sometimes i purposely ignore them just because i don't want it to look too keen- she clearly likes you and it's most probably because she doesn't want to come across as desperate good luck :D
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reader, isitlove +, writes (21 December 2008):
isitlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso I would like to thank all those who wrote to me, I am very positive about implementing these suggestions and asking her out the coming week :-)
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reader, isitlove +, writes (21 December 2008):
isitlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi All,
I am delighted for all those lovely responses to my questions.I think these answers have made me bold enough to ask her out.But i think i like to ask,especially the females out here..that she behaves strangely at times and that gets me very confused..One day she would hold eye contact and show what i feel is interest and the next day she would behave as if i dont even exist i.e she wont even look at me and then i get a very sick feeling.....Please clarify this as well !!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): Well you should ask youself why you're so well known with her friends, I mean what else could it be? Look I do a lot of this kind of research lol signs, body language at the end of the day go with your gut. Im sure she probably doesn't giggle at every guy that looks at her if you notice you both keep making eye-contact. Sounds for sure there's attraction- this is one of the top telling signs whether you know the person or not, i've partly realised that through real life. Also notice the change it doesnt matter what's changed at the moment but the fact that she's now showing positive interest and her friends definitely approve of you it's a sure sign :D Im an anxious person the thing is I want love and im attractive and get many offers but for some reason I can just NEVER go for it i dont know why. So an important thing is to believe in yourself and be bold. Nothing valuable comes easy, you have to take that little extra step of confidence. I agree with the middle answer, don't bother with small talk, build up your confidence and ask her out, she'll find your confidence charming. Remember you're not a jerk going for it which makes you brave so even if she rejects you YOU'RE A MAN LOL good luck!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): Wow! It's time to do something to get to know her and Yes, ask her out. I act like that when I like a guy too, so I believe there are big possibilities that you are going to be welcomed when you approach her. Try to act secure of yourself and don't look desperate, just friendly. Good luck.
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reader, ThatOneCroatian  +, writes (19 December 2008):
Alright, well.. girls love confidence, from what I can understand with the girls I've dated. If your intentions are to ask her out, date her, whatever, you have to be confident about it. Don't prance around the issue like you don't know what to do, that doesn't do anything for girls.
I'll tell ya what, this worked for me with my current girlfriend, try this, and if it doesn't work, I'll get back at you:
The next time you catch her looking, don't do the coy 'eye contact then look away', it's irritating. Keep that eye contact for a second, and watch what she does, if she looks down, that's the sign that she wants you to come over. It's called body language. In MOST cases it's true. If she looks down, she wants you to come over, if she looks to the side, then usually she was just noticing you. ANYWAYS.. when that happens again, just walk up to her. Don't give names, don't do anything else. ASK HER OUT.
Put yourself out there. If it works, it works, if it doesn't.. go for another girl. That'll tell you whether she likes you or not. It's bold.. but it's the best way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): I post a similar question. this girl always looks at me when im not looking too. i was told that it means that someone likes you, that they are trying to figure you out whether you would be a good part of their life for the future etc...As far as i know if the feeling is good, she like you... go for it or oneday she will be gone or taken.
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