A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey guys quick question.... has anyone been in a situation where there boyfriend cheated on them and they gave them a 2nd chance?? if soo did it sucseed and would you advice for me to give my boyfriend a second chance..he says he loves me and now is ready completly for committement and wnts to marry me... he says he will do anything i say whether that means stoping talkin to his ex (he slept with his ex 3 months into our relationship) or me checking all his bills ect im soo confused what do i do
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female
reader, Katy. +, writes (24 January 2009):
 i have, but i'm much younger and its not as serious as your situation sounds.
Why not have a break, sort your head out, and decide from that, in my opinion i think marriage is a bad idea, if your not completley and madly in love with each other then there's always going to be an issue of trust, if he thinks marriage is the only way of staying together then it's very unlikely that it's going to work out. If you have some time apart and see how things go, you'l both know if your the one for each other and if he's truly sorry and knows you can take controll of the relaionship then he will know not to walk all over you. If you're going to give him another chance; make sure he know's its his last or your only going to wind up in the same position again, which is hurt, confused and dissapointed.
Do what you thinks best, at the end of the day its your life your living and nobody ever knows the situation fully so its hard to sometimes give appropraite advice.
hope things work out well for you x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): my boyfriend slept with a girl he had previously been with a month into our relationship. There are no excuses. I care very much for him and he cares very much for me. The circumstances of the details helped. He is a good person, he told me very quickly after it happened. Like 6 hours and he was very regretful and remorseful. He stopped contact with her and he has never hidden his phone or internet access from me, I never doubted his love. He was drunk and it was a very bad mistake, it doesn't help when he had a jealous spiteful skank offering herself to him who was straight as. If he wants to earn your trust he has to have no contact and my boyfriend answered every detail that I asked. Even though it was hard and he didn't know how to handle it. But I will warn you, it was not easy. I was hurt and then the anger consumed me and it was hell for him and me for about 5 months, if he loves you he needs to be prepared for this. My boyfriend nearly gave up because he couldn't handle the fighting. But I have fallen in love with him again and we are so much better, of course I'll always despise the jealous cow that couldn't get her own because she didn't have to deal with any of the damage that it caused and knew he had met a girl that he loved and wanted to marry, something she never got from him. There are girls that will sleep with other peoples partners and there are those that would never even consider it. It shows our character and self respect, morals and dignity. You will probably experience being paranoid and worry allot. Trust may not be there for a long time. You need to consider all the factors and whether he has the strength and understanding to accept the consequences and your behaviour towards him in this very hard time. I hope your ok, you'll be ok, it hurts very much, I wish people didn't do this to one another.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): I am in the middle of giving my ex a second chance... as friends. I'm in love with him, but things need to be worked on before we could ever be together intimately again.
Follow your heart, and take your time, do not rush into marriage at our age!
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A
female
reader, shna  +, writes (24 January 2009):
 well the boy i am wit recently .... we wernt going out and we still are but we were "together" if u get wat im saying and he kissed 2 other girls and i kissed 2 oother boys . . all diffrent nights but we sorted it out and since then everything has been great no nonsense of us with other people i dout my relationship is as serious as urs so i dont no if it can be taken into account but things worked out well for me and i hope they will stay that way for a long time
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