A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been married 2 and a half years. My wife got a new job about a year ago and we don't see as much of each other as we used to. She approached me 4 months ago saying she wasn't happy with the relationship and just over a fortnight ago moved out saying she thought we needed time apart. I have told her how I feel and how much I want to save our marriage but I seem to be the only one trying and I get the impression she's not going to move back. She says she still loves me but said that if she knew how unhappy she would become she would not have got married in the first place. I have never cheated, I treat her well and love and respect her. Anyone any ideas ?
View related questions:
moved out Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007): Shandy gives you excellent advice and I have to agree. Shandy points out the possibility of her being disillusioned. That is a good point. I have to say, when I first read your posting, I too, was wondering if your wife did have another love interest. Something certainly has happened, for her to be greatly distracted her from working hard at building a life and this marriage with you. I hope she can come clean and tell you the truth because you deserve to know what has happened. Her actions are all saying..she doesn't want to work at this marriage, anymore. If she loved you in the way a wife truly loves a husband, she could never have just moved on, like this. She'd be there by your side, working this through. When a woman is displaying the type of behavior that your wife is doing here-it means somewhere along the way, she decided she didn't feel the same for you and for a reason, that only she can tell you. Sometimes people have trouble with confrontations and telling others painful things. Instead they just go and they disappear for awhile and hope time will either give them strength to say what needs to be said...or they won't have to deal with it, at all. Either way, I feel it doesn't look good. You could take one last stab at this and ask her if she would consider serious marriage counseling, with emphasis on broken marriages and trying to rebuild what you both had. If she says no, there is your answer. It will mean your marriage is over. I sincerely hope this is one time I am wrong. This is life and at times... there just are just relationships that cannot be fixed Look towards looking after yourself here. Try talking and suggest marriage counseling and see if she's even willing. If not, then you have to accept this as it is and get on with life. But, your wife should know, that one doesn't just walk away and 'blow' up a marriage and devastate another person's life and emotions, without at the very least, telling them why. I sincerely hope you get some answers, hun. Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007): You don't say how old she is? It is hard to evaluate just what has gone wrong unless you let me know a bit more. You say she got a new job about a year ago and you don't see as much of each other. Then the time apart could of drove a wedge. Maybe she though marriage was going to be a lot different. Some people have a very different and idealistic idea on marriage and it can fall very short of that. Have you had a long good chat with her and asked her where things have gone wrong and how can you two maybe get things back on track? Do you still love her? Do you think she has ever loved you? Maybe she just realised that she wasn't really in love with you after all. Sorry to sound so harsh but i have done that in the past. Fallen for someone, moved in and though, help - i can't cope with this, i really hate it. Maybe she felt that. There is another possibility - has she met someone else while in the new job and she was unhappy because she couldn't be with them. Maybe you are not the person for her, if she is so unhappy then you are best staying away from her. BUT ...
I think you need to have a good talk with her and if all that fails then you will have to be prepared to move on. You cannot continue life like this, it is too short.
Take care
xx
...............................
|
