A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently wanted to almost take a break from my girlfriend of 5 years. Our relationship has been good. She has given me everything in the world. She is very special. However she has become angry at me because I have not shown her how much I love her. We are still together, not on a break but we have come to a difficult point in our relationship. She does not want to lose me, she still loves me, she just wants to have her space to get over being mad at me. The truth is I did take her for granted and now that I feel like I lost her, I wish that we could get past this and I truly feel that she is the person for me. I love her to death and I want to be with her. So I,m giving her space but It's killing inside me because all I want is to be with her. Trust me I have learned my lesson and I will forever treat her like she is the greatest girl in the world. I just need some advice, just to know that I'm doing the right thing and if anybody has similar stories. I know I made mistakes with her but now all I want is for her to know that I love her.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): Hey Man,
I'm kind of glad I came across your question on the web. Because I am going through a similar situation. The only difference is that its the other way round in my relationship. I'm 25, male, in a very serious relationship since the last 5 yrs. My girlfriend and I will definitely be getting married in about 2-3 years. She is as you have described your girlfriend - special, great gal, takes excellent care of me and also perfect wife material. We live in different cities and meet barely 10 days a year but talk on the phone daily.
I guess its the 5 year itch. She kind of expects that we talk on the phone daily for some time. When you speak to someone on the phone daily and you have a pretty routine life, there is not much to talk about after 5 mins. And i find it very irritating to talk when i have nothing to say and am just saying "and..what else.. nothing much here.. and what else" and its the same from her. I have started getting irritable and angry and she knows it too. I too want some space. So i guess you and my GF (and I and your GF) are in the same place.
What I would like is not to feel that I HAVE TO be around (or talk) with my girl all the time all day. And I have already told her that I love her and am there for her forever. But I need some space. In a relationship feelings and conversations should never be forced. Otherwise it just gets irritating.
My advice to you - First talk to her. From my personal experience I will tell you that communication is the most important thing in any relationship. Be open - tell her how you feel and LISTEN as to how she feels. Then agree with her that you will give her some space and that in return you both also spend some quality time on a regular basis. And on these occasions treat her like the greatest gal in the world as you put it. Another pointer - when showing that you love her do things that are more "personal" - like instead to buying an expensive gift do something more romantic like paint out a red cardboard heart and put pictures of the 2 of you on it... worked like a charm ;-)
See how this goes. And leave the rest to time. Don't beat yourself up on this by turning it over in your head. Go talk to her. And at the same time, accept that things change in 5 years and that we too need to change and reinvent ways to be in love.
I really hope that you and your girl can work it out and wish you the very best in life. I would be happy to know how it turned out between you guys. And I appreciate any advice you may have to give me on my situation.
Cheers,
25, Male, Indian
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): Hey, i think you are doing the right thing by giving your girlfriend some space. I understand why she is mad at you (my boyfriend doesn't show me enough affection either and that makes me feel like "why do i bother") but give her some time, if she loves you as much as she says then it will work out. I would just send her a text so she knows you are thinking about her. If she does come back to you just treat her better, lots of cuddles, show her you love her.
Good luck i hope it works out for you
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