A
female
age
41-50,
*uciachambers
writes:Hi there. I have recently separated from my husband and met a guy who I really like and I fell in love with him. We have been together for about 3 and a half months, the only thing is he hits me. He does not hit me in my face just my body like my arms,legs and tummy. I don't know if he is serious but it really hurts and my body is always bruised all over. I am not scared but I am getting worried, as I do not know if he will go all the way one time. I really love and like him, but the worst thing is that I do not know if he will lash out and hit me. Please help!!
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female
reader, taina1980  +, writes (28 September 2008):
omg run like the wind! I've been with an abuser for 5 yrs & it started just like this... it will only get worst & worst... he doesn't hit your face because he doesn't want anyone to know...he will graduate to doing worst things... its still early...please get out of there!i fear for my life evryday its no way to live...your dignity your self -esteem will never be the same if you tolerate this... & he will manipulate you & make you feel beautiful & loved & show you more than you've ever seen.. it will get harder for you to walk away... he will make love to you better than anyone ever has... then soon after he will be hitting you again possibly forcing sex on you when your not in the mood when you refuse he will accuse you of cheating & beat you... please leave him...
A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (27 September 2008):
 Hun, get out of there. I know it is hard. But for your own safety and well being, you have to get out of there.
He's unpredictable - like you said. And you have no idea of whether he'd kill you next time or beat you to an inch of your life. Is this they guy you see yourself with forever?
When you were little, did you dream of a guy like him?
Never, ever, setlle for second best or lower.
While he's out, and when you know he'll be out for a long time, pack your bags, and leave. Stay with your parents or a friend. Block him off your phone, emails. Everything.
Don't give him the chance to hurt you again.
Make sure that only the people you trust with your life know where you are. Don't let him be able to find out.
This is not him loving you back. You give him love and he hits you. This is not fair. You're worth much much more than that.
Please please please get out of there. From someone who's been in an abusive relationship, let him walk all over me and got out far later than I should have done, please leave him now. It'll be the best thing you ever did.
Take care xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): I suggest you end the relationship quickly, if he bruises you then he isn't play fighting. It doesn't matter how much you love him, if he hits you you have to get rid of him. It will be better in the long run anyway! You're worth more than that I'm sure.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): Talk to him about this. Ask him why does he do it? Out of love or anger? Tell him that you don't like it and that he must treat you more lady like.
If he still continues, I sincerely suggest that you break it with him before it goes too far and becomes too messy. You need to be totally comfortable in a relationship for it to have a good future.
Regards,
25, Male, Indian
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A
female
reader, aprilwind +, writes (27 September 2008):
I think you need to talk to him privately and tell him how you feel about it- and if he continues i think it would be better to break-up. like the person before me said "you cant love someone who causes you pain".
April, age 11 (don't judge me by my age please)
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A
female
reader, Aunty Em +, writes (27 September 2008):
 This isn't play-fighting between school children. He hits you so hard it bruises you. You may be in love with him but that's different from liking his character. You can't like someone who causes you pain.
I suggest you end it. But if you fear he'll lash out at that, don't do it by yourself. Make sure someone is the with you.
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