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Am I wanting this child for all the wrong reasons?

Tagged as: Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 November 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 23 November 2006)
A female , *icola james writes:

Recently my relationship with my boyfriend of 8 years has broken down we lived together for over two years and now the house is up for sale. Before all this happened we put our names down for IVF treatment as he had a low sperm count I really hate him for the way he has treat me lately but I despertely want a child and the only way I can see me conceiving is by going ahead with the IVF is this wrong to use him like this? We only have six months left to wait for the treatment and I dont think that I will find someone within that time who feels the same way to have a child with and at the same time I dont want to lose my place on the waiting list. I know he still wants to have a child with me but am I doing it for the wrong reasons?

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A male reader, Frank B Kermit Canada +, writes (23 November 2006):

Frank B Kermit agony auntYou do not mention your age in this so I do not know if you are fighting the biological clock.

What I can tell you though is that if the house is for sale, and you both have not been able to handle the strain of your relatioship thus far, then it is not a fair setting to be offering to a child that is coming into the world.

What type of parents, or separate parents are you going to be, if you can not even stand to be with each other? Your child deserves the best possible odds, and it does not sound like it.

Given that he is the one with the low sperm count, and you do not mention any problems for you to get pregnant, then by all means, move on, and find someone new.

-Frank B Kermit

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2006):

sorry for your problems .but having a baby is sopposed to be special and loving for people who want to have a child who plan to be together for a long time or long enought to rear a child i know its ok for me who has a child and knows what it envolves . i think you should have a baby one day when you know the time is right for you and him when your secure in your relationship .if the time is not right for you .then you can move on and find a man who can give what you need .a baby changes your life forever .please try not to rush into this as a baby is forever.its his sperm count thats low at end of day.a baby does not keep people together.so if i were you i would wait untill things improve .wish you luck and dont worry you will be a mum before you know it xxx

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