A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im finding myshelf being a clingy in my new relationship. Im trying to take up most of her free time, and I know that is not good on my part. How do I keep from being so clingy so I dont need up pushing her away? Because I have a feeling that is what im doing. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): Don't text her too often. Do NOT pester her to tell you that she loves you. If you are worried you aren't allowing her much time with her friends, and want it to seem like you are thinking of her , say " lets meet saturday at three so you can go meet your friends before hand or do what you want to do". So she sees that your adding lee way. Also if your out together, and she has to go, let her go, do not make her stay. It'll just piss her off.
A
female
reader, rebecca.megan  +, writes (15 June 2008):
 hey,
i'm only fourteen, so i'm not sure whether you'll actually want advice from me, but ohh well. (:
Ive only been with me boyfriend for a couple of months, and he's pretty clingy with me too, i don't see my friends half as much as i used to, and i always seem to be busy all the time, just so i can be with him, but i actually don't mind that much, because i just love being with him.
Anyways, to my point, if she loves you just as much as you love her, then it shouldn't bother her, just make sure she still has her bit of freedom and time with her friends every now and again, and she'l absolutly love you.
If you keep a little distace and make sre you're not trying to be with her every minute of the day, then the more space, the more she'll love being with you, otherwise eventually it might become a little boring, so basically let her know you love her, and you shouldn't have the need to take up all of her free time, as you're reassurred she feels the same way.
If you still feel like you're doing it wrong, and she doesn't feel the same about being with you, the i'm sure you'll find much better, and someone who has the same interests as you, etc.
I'm obviously no expert as i'm still young myself, but you came on here for advice.
so hope that might of helped abit. x
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A
female
reader, loops +, writes (15 June 2008):
I dont have any magical answer for you, but I have done this myself and know how you feel. I have a few things I can suggest that may help
- Talk to her about how you feel, you'd be suprised how much talking things out and explaining things will make a difference to how you feel. I did this recently with my boyfriend and it helped me immensely.
- figure out the reason you feel clingy. Are you really clingy, or is it just you self doubting. If you are clingy think of why, are you scared of loosing her, is it because you have no one else around you right now so her company is vital to you?
- Once you have found out the reason take steps to secure that that reason is solved, for example increasing your self esteem, make an effort to go out with your friends a little more, or both go out with a group of friends rather than constantly being only in each others company.
I hope this helps, good luck.
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