A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:There's a new guy at work that I met and he seemed to like me, according to how he acts around me. Well, he invited me to his gym and i went and signed up. I signed up because I thought it would be a good idea since I liked him too. Well, we go to the gym and exercise together and stuff and after that, he just says a friendly "see you tomorrow" and that's it. It's been a few weeks, maybe about a month and he hasn't said anything else other then that or any hints or nothing. He does, make an effort sometimes to come by my desk and talk, but other than that, nothing. I'm thinking I might be rushing it... not sure, because I feel kinda lonely... I guess I just have to have some patience.My question is, am I rushing the situation? or does he not like me anymore?
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male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (30 December 2010):
First of all, congrats on finally getting that guy you've been after :)Second, no. No he doesn't just want you for sex. If he did he would have made a move a LOOOOOONG time ago. Try not to let these things concern you :) Don't over think it. You finally got that relationship you've been hoping for, don't become the accuser when this is what you've wanted all along!Enjoy it for now. If you do feel that sex is becoming an issue, mention it to him. Tell him its just moving kind of fast.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Stop over thinking it...really you have gotten what you wanted...to get close to him and have sex. Men are generally more sexual so he picked up on your signal quite quickly. Now you have had sex, it's not the time to get all coy on him. Just be relaxed. keep touch and see how things unfold...yes 'unfold' is the word. You don't need to know all the answers up front because the story has only just begun...don't kill it by having regret and over thinking the situation...just carry on and enjoy what comes.
Thinking badly or suspiciously of him now will kill it stone dead.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis is an update.
I really really hope I didn't mess up this relationship already... Maybe too early to judge
This is what happened: He planned to bring in Chocolate Vodka to celebrate xmas (dec 23), for us at work, to taste as it was his creation. So the day before, I went to his office and he showed me these 2 shot glasses he bought for us for the chocolate vodka.
So, is now Dec 23rd. In the morning he came by my desk and showed me 2 bottles he brought in to work and he put them in our fridge. The day went by.... at the end of the day around 6:30, when everybody was gone he he came by my desk with the 2 shot glasses and the bottle of chocolate vodka. I was happy that he thought about us, because as you all know I really like him.
So, we started drinking and watching youtube videos, stuff that he was into when he was younger, and about his town and where he used to work, things like that.
Well, drinks kept on going down and we were getting closer to each other. I was waiting for him to do something.... well, it happened.....he put his hand in my leg. A little bit after my next shot (about 4 by now) I put my leg on top of his and yeah, we got closer after that. We didn't have sex, but we were touching and kissing. Then my friend called me to ask if I wanted to go to this club and he said "yeah I want to go, lets go", and we went and had a great time. After that we came back to our cars at work's parking lot. We were kissing and cuddling in his car, no sex yet. So he got my number (finally) and he said "call me tomorrow". The next day I called him (dec 24th) and I couldn't see him this day because I was with family until late, so we talked on the phone and he said "call me tomorrow" (dec 25th). I called him on dec 25 and I ended up spending all day with him and we had sex. Yes we did and so did we the following day.
Today, I don't know what he wants out of me.... i'm confused
I will ask him, but do you think he only wants to use me for sex?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso, does everyone think that he only wants to be friends?
Hopefully I can get more of your opinions.
If that is the case, then you're probably right, I should stop working out with him. Makes me sad though .... but I guess it has to be done. Booooooo
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (2 December 2010):
It definitely sounds as if he just wants to be a friend. If you are struggling with your feelings, it might be wise to stop working out with him. If he asks why then tell him the truth.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok, this is just an update to what's going on with this situation .... nada nada. I wished he had said or done something by now. Its been about a couple months and we still keep on going to the gym, everyday, after gym he just says see you tomorrow and goes to his car, which he parks on a different spot as mine. Anyways, I was thinking that maybe he just wants to play around. My friend at work says that he looks at her boobs all the time when he talks to her, he does this to me too without even disguising it. This made me think that he is just a player. Hmmm not sure though, he still comes around my desk to see me, but by this point I think I like him more than before and wished something was happening by now. I feel like a want to hug him .... I am confused right now. Could it be he just wants to be friends? My other friends, that are guys, at work, talk to me at work, they don't invite me to go to the gym. Hmmm i just don't know what to do or if I should just keep on doing what I'm doing now and let it be. I am a little worried that he might be a player and I don't want a guy like that in my life
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (4 November 2010):
Nothing wrong with being good friends for now. As a guy, I realize there are those of us who will go and ask out a woman within minutes. For me, and several others I know, we appreciate starting a great friendship beforehand. Getting to know someone as a friend will show you so many more wonderful things about them and it makes the transitioning into dating a lot easier.
If he honestly just wants a simple friendship, give it to him for now. Who knows, maybe he'll become interested after he starts discovering more about you.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (3 November 2010):
Sounds like he wants to become a friend...seems like a good place to start, just enjoy getting to know him gradually and who knows what might develop.
Best of luck x
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