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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hello, I'm in a relationship with a guy who i really really like. I've known him for ages and we get on really well. The only problem is before we got together he was really in love with this girl who always sent him mixed signals, during this time i had offered myself on a plate and he had always turned me down. But one night he had a change of mind, he decided he was sick of this other girl messing him around and that he would give it a chance with me. He said he liked me all along aswell but he was just so obsessed with the other girl. Now however even though i have him i get so paranoid over her because shes always out to drag him back into her trap. I feel so helpless because i know how much he liked her. He sometimes seems as though he goes out of his way to see her or contact her but my friends tell me this is not the case at all drom their perspective. Im so confused and kinda paranoid i need someone else's opinion. please helpppppppppppppppppp!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (19 June 2006):
 (1) you might just be paranoid. it is possible that she is just his mate and nothing more and his feelings for her have completely gone now because he is in love with you. and if that is the case you need to calm down and trust him.
or
(2) he could still be obsessed with this girl in which case you need to talk to him and decide if you still want to be with someone who would rather be with someone else.
With the information you have provided its hard to say which one it is. Could be either. Depends on when he sees her and how much time they spend together but I think the key thing here is to listen to your gut feeling on this one and go from there. Your instincts will tell you all you need to know.
A
female
reader, Helen Help! :)  +, writes (19 June 2006):
 Hey Huni
its understanderble that you feel like that i know i would but he has you now, does he love you? if he ses he does then he probably means it and wont jus leave u like that. He perhaps just wants to stay friend with her, talk to him tell him how you feel about this other girl im sure he'll understand. If he goes out to see her you go along and if he disagrees just say why cant i come there should be no reason that you cant if he doesnt fancy her. well good luck see how things go but if you trust him theres no need to stop unless he does somthing to break that trust.
Helen x
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