A
female
age
30-35,
*hnookims
writes:Am I over reacting by being annoyed and upset that my "friend" sent me this sms? "i think of you and your daughter every single day. More than once a day. I guess I can't wait for a baby of my own. I would be honored to be something more in your life like your child's godmother or your bridesmaid?" She may be my friend but she's certainly no role model for my child and my fiance has sisters I'm thinking of asking since he's using his brother and mine. I know I don't have to ask her to be either but I feel that this sms has put unnecessary pressure on our friendship and me. It would have been an honor for me to ask her but I've never heard if someone actually saying this to their friend. Besides which, the beginning of the sms makes me feel a little freaked out. So am I over reacting or is it understandable?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2010): Q yes I know a few druggies. And in responnse to op, maybe she has polycrastic ovaries and has been told she can't have kids and this is her way of dealing with it - bgetting involved with yours xxx
A
female
reader, shnookims +, writes (21 May 2010):
shnookims is verified as being by the original poster of the question Just to add more detail to the situation... I have been trying to distance myself from her for quite some time because her eagerness to see me and my daughter, without the father, makes me uncomfortable and her constant intereference with me raising my child.
Like she'll get to my house and tell me my daughter needs a nappie change, when she doesn't. Or tell me my daughter needs a jersey. I don't have the heart to say anything to her face because she gets hectically depressed really easily but I figured ignoring her sms's would let her know to back off. And then I get that one.
I highly doubt she'll fall pregnant easily because of eating disorders and she's a very sickly person but she's even spoken about trapping her boyfriend, who is far from ready to be a parent.
I don't want her as a bridesmaid becasue she'll take over my wedding. She hated the attention I got at my baby shower and at my 21st. And she gets really offish when someone compliments me and not her. She wants people to notice her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2010): I totally disagree to her being high, I highly doubt this, to me, she is merely suggesting that she would take her role as godmother seriously,, if you were to give her the chance and that shed be there for you, okay it was random, but hey we're all only human!
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (20 May 2010):
 As much as it may pain me to admit it, he may very well be.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 May 2010):
 Which takes us straight to the "no role model for my child" comment. I think Q may be on to something here.
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (20 May 2010):
Cooking meth?? What on earth have I missed, here?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 May 2010):
I think I'm with BunnyTee on this one. I think she overstepped for certain, and may not realize how stalker-y the opening sentences were.
That's part of the problem with so much of our communication turning from face-to-face, or by phone, to all by text, there's no vocal tone or facial and body language to read to make the meaning as clear as possible.
Are you looking for a graceful way to reply?
I'd probably say something like, "Oh, aren't you sweet? Thank you for being so supportive. It seems the godparents are going to be family. I'm happy to have you as a friend, thanks again!"
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (20 May 2010):
Perhaps she's only terribly excited and means you well?
It seems to me that you're affronted at the presumptuous nature of her request. I'd say at the worst, she's guilty of bad manners; at best she's guilty of offering her support in the event you have need of it.
I can see where the beginning of her SMS might seem somewhat freaky, but it appears to be well-meant, in my opinion. Perhaps she's rather caught up in the idea of her being in your position one day?
I'd say no harm, no foul.
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A
female
reader, KeighleySky  +, writes (20 May 2010):
 I'd be freaked out too. If you don't want her to be the god mother because you've chosen someone else then just tell her so. Personally i wouldn't keave my child alone with her, especially since you suggest she isnt a very good role model. You shouldn't feel pressured into choosing her as your godmother but maybe choose her for your bridesmaid, if shes a true friend then i believe she'll be fine with that.
I hope everything turns out how you want :) x
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