A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been my bf for 5 years.However sex just doesn't turn me on!Reading romance novels, thinking of the process of sex, get me going.. But sex itself..I feel not much-AM I normal? or maybe he's just not for me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): Some people just aren't that into sex. Reading romance novels and thinking about sex can get you going, but for some people, actually doing it just doesn't really appeal. So as to whether you are normal or not, I don't think there really is a definition of what is normal and what isn't. There are just differences in preferences and sex drives.
But if this is bothering you, then maybe you could look into it a bit more. Certain medications can have an effect on how you feel during sex, so if you are taking anything, it might be worth checking to see if they could be affecting you. Also, your mood can play an important role. So if there is anything troubling you, that could be causing some of the problem too.
Does your boyfriend try to make sex enjoyable for you? Does he pay you enough attention? Women often need more than just sex to get us going. More work and attention can be required! Is there anything you can think of which seems nice about sex, anything you might like to try? It could be that you just haven't found anything yet which seems appealing about sex. So maybe if you explored it a bit more, you might get some ideas.
There are also plenty of books and websites out there which can offer tips on how to make sex enjoyable. But I do think your boyfriend will play an important part in this, so it will help if he thinks of you in the bedroom too.
I hope something helps, good luck!
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