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female
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anonymous
writes: I need to know if I am losing that guy. We have both made moves - indirect non verbal to express what we feel towards each other- an attraction. I am pretty sure he had something for me since we saw each other but I did not want to take any of this as serious...However it took me longer to interpret those signs..as there was a moment I thought it was innappropriate for him to be conducting in such way as we are in a professional setting hence I did not respond in a way he had liked or shall I say honestly I made a wrong move here ; he had since then not glanced at me once. For me that's clear that he was into me in the first place and he has also not shown himself in my presence for weeks now. Basically I have not seen him for weeks. My question is to confirm whether I got that right - he'd backed off because I have not responded his indirect body language in a positive manner and he knows we both have an attraction towards each other however because I don't want to act on these feelings, he wants to get over me or does he think I am the one who is attracted to him and he wants to give me space for me not to embarass myself by keeping looking at him and spread rumours?I realised now that I don't see him that I like him by the way...I'm not sure what to do - Shall I keep it like this - we don't see each other anymore or shall I make a move or shall I wait and see?? He is in a senior position.Thank you Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2022): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for those who have replied - really appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2022): You are in a professional setting; so therefore, you behave in a professional manner.
You cannot accurately read "body-language;" and even spoken words can be misinterpreted or misunderstood.
You didn't lose anybody; because there is nothing to lose BUT POSSIBLY YOUR JOB! I'm sorry OP, but I have to suspect that you may have inadvertently responded in a flirtatious or suggestive-manner to what you thought was a flirtation, and maybe it wasn't!!!
If you haven't been called into HR, or by your immediate supervisor; consider all is well. Your workplace is not your dating pool!
If someone is making passes at you at work; that is legally considered sexual-harassment and inappropriate behavior at the workplace. If you are an American, you know companies have a code of ethics and policy on behavior in the workplace. Flirtations can become lawsuits and liabilities!!! Which also lead to public-relations nightmares; hence, the loss of clients or customers. You may not see it as that; but others who are observing your behavior unbeknownst to you may be keeping a record of what they've observed. On my job, managers and supervisors must be alert for inappropriate-behavior for the protection of the company from harassment lawsuits or complaints of hostile work-environment. So far, it's smooth sailing and a happy staff! Our onsite-employees feel at-ease, and everyone recognizes company policies. Many can work from home, and don't have to worry about such nonsense.
My advice to you, leave him alone. If you don't see him, that means you don't have any reason to interact at work. There are apps and sites for those who are seeking dates. Your job is where you earn money to pay your bills, keep a roof over your head, and food on your table. Your love-life ends when you're on the clock! I'm speaking from a upper-management's standpoint; not just as an uncle on DC!
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (6 May 2022):
 OP, be more professional.
THAT is my advice.
You can not CONDUCT anything (romantically or otherwise) "indirect nonverbal " to express ANYTHING. Sure, someone can eye another person "lustfully" or with "keen interest" in a romance novel but in life, there needs to be something a LOT LESS "subtle".
You don't know what or how he feels. Point blank.
HE doesn't know what or how you feel either.
You two are coworkers, he is in a senior position so HE needs to be professional and keep it in his head and his pants. Otherwise, it can end up as sexual harassment. (if you weren't interested and he still pursued you).
Seems like your imagination is running a wee bit wild here and you need to rein that in.
Focus on your job. That is why you are there. Not to make eyes at some boss.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2022): No no no.It is always a foolish, detrimental idea to make a move at work on someone who is senior in position(and so,probably,also higher in hierarchy )than you,even if they were clearly showing an interest/ curiosity.But if the guy is even making himself scarce, and giving you a wide berth, since weeks ...what do you want to go borrow trouble for ?...Keep it professional- it sounds just like a crush, it will go away, if you don't act on it.
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