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Who do I feel attraction to gay guys? (when I'm female!)

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 July 2007) 9 Answers - (Newest, 16 July 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *iWi* writes:

As far as I am aware, I am straight. However, over the last few years, I have started to realise a pattern in the people I feel attracted to. They are, more often than not, gay.

I'm entirely for gays and see nothing wrong with it, but this is starting to creep me out.

Also, I often get this weird feeling of belonging when around gay people (generally men), and the gay community as a whole. I think it could be due to the characteristics in their personalities that you don't often see in straight men.

And, last but not least, i often daydream about being male and gay, and it leaves me feeling happy and turned on.

Please help, I'm so confused x x x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007):

Hello, I can completely relate, I am bisexual, never turned on by straight porn, only lesbian or gay. I've been attractd to, and more recently in love with a (male) gay friend for 10 years now, and I've never said. I feel like I need to come out as a gay man as it's not just him I've been attracted to! A sex change is far too drastic tho.

I can't say I have any advice, but if I ever find some I'll let you know! I did read in Cosmo recently that more women than thought are turned on by male gay porn, but thats not v helpful. All I can hope is that if my friend ever fancies an experiment he asks me :(

x

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A female reader, KiWi* United Kingdom +, writes (13 July 2007):

KiWi* is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks people. I feel loads better now! x x x

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A female reader, bubbloo24 Isle of Man +, writes (9 July 2007):

bubbloo24 agony auntA lot of people like watching these kind of videos.

It's nothing to worry about lovely, people find a certain attraction in this kind of thing, if that's what you want to do, then carry on. It's not up to anyone else.

I think that when you meet a nice guy who's straight and you start liking him, I don't think you'll worry too much about it and it will just be a phase.

I honestly think that you'll just come through this like a phase and if you enjoy watching gay porn videos then that's fine.

You're not the only one who has these kind of urges, a lot of women find gay guys attractive - a gay fetish.

I'm sure you'll be fine, don't worry too much about it coz you're not alone.

Take care x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007):

I think you are over reacting, you just feel attracted to a certain personality,of whom a high percentage are gay, when you find a straight one dont let him get away.

as for the pornography i would be concerned if you WERENT turned on,after all your only human

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A female reader, flyingskirt United States +, writes (8 July 2007):

you're not ready for a relationship with straight guys. this is evidenced by you're only attracted to and giving attention to men who aren't available to you. at the base of it all you have the same issue as a woman who's only attracted to married men.

your entire explanation is very normal. the only thing that's not normal is your overreaction to the situation. on a heavier note... if it's really as bad as you say... could you be reacting to some traumatic incident in your (distant/recent) past? it's a reasonable explanation why a straight woman would go for a man who couldn't possibly ever get sexual interest in her.

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A female reader, KiWi* United Kingdom +, writes (8 July 2007):

KiWi* is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the advise so far, but please keep it coming as I have another confession - watching videos of gay guys kissing and underdressing each other etc on youtube. I can't stop, every time I go on the internet and it gets me really sexually stimulated, unlike anything else. I don't know what to do...

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A female reader, bubbloo24 Isle of Man +, writes (8 July 2007):

bubbloo24 agony auntDr Pete said it all really. It's not uncommon, a fe wof my female friends have found themselves attracted to gay guys.

maybe you should look for a guy who's bi???

xx take care xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2007):

Lots of women like being around gay men because they seem less threatening and some gay men can identity with femininity much easier than a typical guy.

Some girls take this a little further and become sexually attracted to gay men, again this is because they feel those gay men understand them more.

I don't think that is strange in the slightest, it just shows you are open minded and have found people that you feel comfortable around and you should be glad of that, not doubt it or be confused by it.

I'm guessing you probably just haven't met the right straight guy who may have some of the "gay" characteristics that make you feel connected and close to them?

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A female reader, KiWi* United Kingdom +, writes (8 July 2007):

KiWi* is verified as being by the original poster of the question

In case I didn't make it clear, all the gays I've had feelings for have been men. Gay men.

Just wanted to make sure it was clear.

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