A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,This is the third time I'm writing about the same relationship and I've gotten great advise in the past. i have been advised to leave the unhealthy,make up- break up relationship and i have been broken up with her now for a year. I'm trying to move on but it is very hard even after such a long time. Every day is a struggle . My luck with women is not so good and i miss the comfort of being with my ex. Since we live and work in the same neighborhood , I'm constantly trying to avoid her when i know there is a chance that i will bump into her. I've been doing everything to stay away from her.Well i guess my question is , If i keep on dating other women ,will i find someone else or will i fantasize and obsess over my ex forever?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Ted-ster +, writes (13 June 2010):
There are some relationships that stay under our skin. Time heals, particularly if you find someone new. That said, I still yearn at times for my high school sweetheart, the time, the intensity of new love/sex. However, the pain that you exprience now will diminish, but living new experiences and sharing it, even with friends, will help.
A
female
reader, Rachael2310  +, writes (12 June 2010):
 Hi there,
It must be incredibly difficult, however. I feel that the head on approach is far better. There is no point trying to avoid her as you are keeping yourself in denial. Say hello to her, have conversations with her. Be polite yet distant. Say hi then carry on walking. It will be so difficult to begin with but it will soon get easier. Integrate hobbies into your life at the same time. There will come a day when you will see her and you'll feel indifferent towards her. locking yourself away from her does nothing to fix the problem as you're still always thinking of her by trying to find ways to avoid her. Take a deep breath and (apologies) grow some balls and start facing her and in doing so getting some self respect and a new life.
Good luck my dear!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 June 2010):
 You will find someone else! But you have to discipline your mind and emotions like someone would discipline their physical muscles. Whenever your ex pops into your head, instead of dwelling on her, you need to push her out of your mind. Whenever you date someone, you have to make yourself not compare her to your ex.
Also, if you haven't done so, get rid of ANY and EVERY memento of your ex. Gifts, emails, texts, love letters, pictures. Think of it as emotional cleaning house. You've taken a good first step by avoiding seeing her. Once your heart is empty and swept clean will it happen for you.
Also, if you've ever thought of taking up a new interest and hobby, go for it! If you have to change jobs, or learn a new skill, that'll help you grow beyond your need for your ex.
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