A
female
age
30-35,
*m_Here_Now
writes:Hey I dont know whether i am bi curious or bi sexual ?i am a 14 year old girl and think thast certain girls are pretty. When i was 13 i went to a co-ed ( GIRLS AND BOYS) highschool. I knew one girl there who was lezbian and was extremely attractive. i but i was a year 10 and she was a year 11, anyway every time i saw id become nervous, but i never went up to her or anything.Now we moved houses and my mom made me go to an all girl catholic school. I didnt have any problems at first but there is this one girl who i think i have a crush on ? She is not boylike but not girly, they say shes bi but im not sure and i dont want to look stupid, and i dont even know if i like girls ? i thought/think i do because every time im around her im happy and nervous about my looks, and when im not around her, im looking for her and waiting to see her again?! she doesnt pay much attention to me though???Sorry this is long but please help me
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female
reader, little123456789  +, writes (19 December 2008):
it isnt a big deal. i should know. im going through the same thing. am i gay? or just bi-curious.lately i have been getting very worried at night and try to talk myself out of it but in the end i get to school and everything is okay. if you belive you really like this girl you need to come out. admit that you are gay. people will learn to accept you if you accept yourself.
A
female
reader, Im_Here_Now +, writes (23 June 2008):
Im_Here_Now is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your response .
I will honestly think about what you said and TRUST ME your answers really did help.
Oh and rhythmandblues2 You said talk to your parents thank, but when i said to my mum i think i might be bi or something, she got really pissed.
Both my parents are homophobes and are upsessed with the thought of having a "perfect" daughter. they are also hard core Christians who think that it is wrong to be gay bi or lezbian .
Theyre opinoins are a total opposite to what mine are .
But thanks for the advice , and for all of your time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): Its perfectly normal to think certain girls are pretty. Im straight but i think alot of girls are pretty, but it doesnt mean the your bi. you can just appericate beauty. And about this girl, you might just admire her... but you can always try something with a girl, then see if you are interested in doing more things with a girl. Trust me though most girls have gone through some kind of being bi curious.*hope that helped.
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A
female
reader, Hannah1987 +, writes (21 June 2008):
Hi
I had exactly the same at your age! I was slightly obsessed with the girl next door. I thought i was bi. I know everyone will say this but it really is hormones!!!
After a few months the feelings will subside. You have to think wether you do fancy her or do you just aspire to be like her?
I certainly wouldnt act on it just yet. As you get a little bit older you'll probably experiment with ur mates anyway ( whilst drunk normally!) and you'll find your answers!!!
Its normal to feel more comfortable with girls and the boy stuff seems daunting! You are normal, stop worrying!!
H x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): Ok, you are at an age when your hormones are racing, you are learning to be more independent from your parents and are trying to stretch some boundaries and make your own decisions.
Just because you think certain girls are pretty and you even get nervous around them and sort of have a crush on them does not make you bi or gay. It is very common to experience some pretty intense emotions at this age because you are feeling for the first time love for a same sex friend at a deeper level than what you were capable of as a child. This is what I hate about the whole politically correct thinking of talking about and being open about gay/lesbian relationships, I think it confuses kids, and scares the bejeezus out of them. I think that many many people choose to be gay or bi as a form of belonging to something, of forming a clear cut identity at a time in your life when you are supposed to be not sure who you are, and are learning about yourself and others...then there are those who are truly born that way and know this about themselves from early childhood. You have gotten through your childhood and your preadolescence and are now a young adolescent thinking about all of your options and choices....so you can choose to go down this path, you can choose a difficult life with women as your lovers with no prospect of children or stability in your life, or you can choose to put aside these thoughts and concentrate more on your studies and meet some nice boys and begin to date them , kiss them and see what you think.
I personally think that you are too young to be engaging in any kind of sex and are too young to handle the confusing feelings that it brings up. I recommend that you talk to your parents about these very issues you are writing to an anonymous board on the internet where you are going to get some pretty bizarre opinions and advice. Your parents know you best, they have instilled values in you, they know you inside and out, so trust them enough to care about this and to speak to you about all your concerns regarding your sexuality. Sexuality is something that you are going to develop over the next 7 years or so, so don't jump into anything and label yourself as bi. You may just really feel more comfortable being friends with girls at this stage in your life and really can form a close bond with them, but it is inappropriate to cross boundaries with them and engage in sex...don't muddy up a close friendship with this kind of stuff, and stay away from women who claim to be gay, at least until you get yourself sorted out. Good luck, and take care of you.
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