A
male
age
30-35,
*imJim
writes:Hello everyone. First time posting here. Anyway, lets get started...I used to be involved in a long distance relationship. I was with the girl for 2 and a half year. We started going out in high school when she brought me out of a depression (broke up with first girlfriend of 2 months). She was a senior and I was a junior. And than she was away for college, and the usual long-distance relationship trend happened to us. First couple weeks was cool, she tells me about her classes and I tell her about everything that's happening here. After that she started going out to parties and meetings and our time talking to each other decreased. I was a little mad and constantly have to remind her that she is not putting enough time in for the two of us. She said that it is a way for her to keep her schedule organized (by keeping herself occupied) and to stop missing me as much.And than we moved on to the second year of college (my first). We constantly bicker over the tiniest things. However, every time we see each other (either over breaks or when I go visit her), all we do is tell each other how secure we feel in each others' arms and how much we love each other. Every time we see each other, we feel just right, like nothing can get between the two of us. But after we stop seeing each other, arguments begin again and she wants to go to her parties and fun and I want to talk to her more. She despises talking on the phone.Last month, she told me she wants to take a break. I was beyond shocked. Yes, I knew we were teenagers and we don't know what we want. But the thought have never even crossed my mind. We each wear a cute little ring on our left ring finger to remind us that we belong to each other forever. But now it almost seems like she wants to break the very foundation of our relationship. Before, she was fairly conservative when it comes to going out to clubs and dancing. But now she even wants to date another guy, and her reason for wanting so is so she can see if she really wants me.After when she mentioned the break to me, her mind never faltered when it comes to our future. She continuously reminds me that we will be married and we will be together always.So after that mouthful, here are my questions. What should I do? I understand that in my position, there is nothing I can do but wait and give her time to explore herself and her true goals in life. I love her a lot and I really need her. For two and a half years, I have never let a single thought of dating another girl enter my mind. But the way she is acting now is telling me that she doesn't really even care anymore whether we stay together or not. Every day, I sit at the computer monitor and pray that she will send me a message, telling me that she is coming back and this time is for sure. Am I being really selfish to her? My heart breaks every time she mentions doing anything with other guys. Am I being oversensitive? What should I do to overcome this?
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male
reader, achilles95 +, writes (12 March 2009):
 You need to go out and date some girls. You can't stay in your room all day and wait for her to send messages or call. Because she is with some other guy. So go out find a girl and start interacting. If she finally decides its you she wants then you can see if she is the one you want
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