A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been talking with my friends about one problem, but we didn't come to any specific conclusions. So now I'd love to see your opinions about that. So here's my question.We were wondering why we often fell in love with a wrong person. For example, you're single and quite pretty woman. Almost every guy you've met wanted to have something with you, but your heart say "no he's not the right guy for you" and fell for someone who completely doesn't like you (from different reasons) or he's in position you can't be with him. I mean, that's happening to me most of the time. And that's why I'm still single. I always fell for wrong person. And that's not because the guy I like is not interesting in me and that makes him sexy, no... First I like him and then I perfectly see that he doesn't like me back and I can't see true reason why. The last guy I was interesting in wanted to have sex with me and I said no. Then a couple of months later I wrote him sms if he would like to go out with me on some drink or something. And he didn't response and I was again.. completely disappointed! On the other hand, there are a lot of other guys whose want to go out with me or be with me or at least have sex with me. Why does this happening to me? Do I unconsciously drive away those guys? How can I make those "ice mountains" to start liking me back? I know I'm not alone with this problem, a lot of my friends have the same. So now I need opinions from you. Have you ever been in similar situation? I wish you all a very happy new year. xxx
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male
reader, orangetree  +, writes (29 December 2008):
 Hmm there could be a couple of explanations, the first may well be that you actually seek rejection, you are then not hindered with potentially pitfalls or complications such as engaging in trust, intimacy and sex. This may be because you are not yet comfortable or confident to pursue demanding commitements. Another influencing factor in this possible explanation is if you have experienced childhood disruption in relationships e.g divorce, abuse, domestic violence. Such formative experiences effect our instinctual capacity to trust and assess correctly who is worthy of trust. You have to ask yourself about the quality of the love, communication and affection you would recieve from an "icemountain" would it be worthy of the pursuit? why would isolated, cold and damaged people make you happy? What is there in the person beyond the attraction that draws you? do they remind (share characteristics) you of other male family members? do you think you have something that you can give them? What are you projecting onto them about yourself? Don't ask the questions of the men but ask the questions of yourself, as
Houssaye says:
Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are.
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