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male
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*mdyingslowly
writes: I've been with my girlfriend for 2 yrs, not my longest relationship but the best one I've had tgus far.in life. I'm 25/m I understand in the beginning of relationships you have that a few months of lust exploreling a new partner, but recently there's been a lack of communication also.the lust is gone in the bedroom. I know she's not cheating, we share the same friends base and they would never lie, both male ans female entities. I'm just confused shr blames it on the birth control says she is going to find alternative but never pushes through. We have had rough times recently I was injured at work so I haven't been able to do my usual I'm the guy I pay for most things thars just how I am..chivalry isn't dead. I love this girl and I kbow feelings are mutual we've talked about a future together. I just am on the fence about pursuing this endeavour to a fruitless ending. She also recently started a new job but is the same schedule ad her college classes were so no difference in stress load so I'm at a loss.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 December 2013):
 I'm pretty sure she's on hormonal birth control that kills her libido... and well that could be it... she really does need to figure out if that's the issue.
the other issue is you said "She also recently started a new job but is the same schedule ad her college classes were so no difference in stress load"
respectfully I totally disagree.. just because the HOURS and the schedule is the same does not mean the stress level is the same. different situations (school vs work) require different things and the stress for work could be much higher or lower... but NOT THE same just because the schedule is the same.
you have had a work injury and are not working (your comment about not being able to pay for things)... that affects a man more than he will ever admit. MEN in general are very tied to their jobs and they help define who they are. My husband hates his current job and it's negatively affecting us at home as is a recent back injury.
Two years is a good enough chunk of time to know if you love this girl and it's just a a bad patch which is what it sounds like to me.
ONE bad thing at a time is hard enough you currently have:
transition from school to work
injury
hormonal issues (induced by BC)
money issues (due to injury)
that's a lot on the plate of a relationship....
what would you do if you were married to her? would you toss in the towel now that you can see all the outside forces that are pushing your relationship down?
can you (and do you want to) sit down with her to discuss these issues? will she talk about it? IF NOT... then yes it's time to leave... but before you bail I'd see if she is willing to work on these things.
both of you are 100% responsible for the success or failure of the relationship. if she won't pull her weight and/or you won't pull yours then there is no point in continuing.
A
male
reader, M Proops  +, writes (4 December 2013):
You complain after 2 years,wait until you have been married 31 years like me!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2013): Sorry you're going through this. It could actually be the birth control. Anecdotal evidence is all I know, but many many woman who has ever been on this mind-altering drug have lost their sex drives, become extremely moody, and not known themselves anymore. It is common. The pill fools your body, hormonally, into thinking you're pregnant every month. If you thought PMS wasn't bad enough..!I would suggest strongly that she GET OFF the pill NOW, and that you two use something more natural...rhythm method, condoms. I know I'm old-school, but I always thought it was wrong to mess up my body for the sake of birth control. I would insist, if I were you, that she follow through and do this. If you guys are both low income (you're in your 20s, you mentioned college), there is almost certainly a program in your state that will let her have 100% free access to any kind of BC a Planned Parenthood can provide. That includes boatloads of free condoms. Harping on this bc I think it is almost certainly the birth control! You wouldn't be the first bloke whose ticket to frequent sex (the pill) led him to quite the opposite.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2013): I think it's just one of the many fazes you will go through in life as a couple. You can't expect to ever spend your whole life with one person if you can't accept these times for what they are, and none the less, move forward in other ways that aren't at a block atm. Focus on goals and let the relationship run its course. Experiment in the bedroom. It's not all about being physically attracted to another person all of the time. You could also try exploring your sexual side with the one person you are most comfortable with.. fetishes for example. Let your main focus be on getting your goals and her goals met. You love her, what else do you really need? You're a lucky guy in my opinion.
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