A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:im 21 married and have two children. after having a c section with my last child that is now 10 months old i feel i have no sex drive i have tryed underwear,toys ect and they have had no effect any suggestions?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007): I think that you should consider trying bondage! Maybe evne go to a swingers night! just do something do something you wouldnt usually do to excite yourself! Try having sex outside, the thrill of being caught makes sex more intense! Let your husband use a vibator on you. Put on a show for your partnere, maybe a dance, but dont let him touch you! Watch how turned on he gets when you finally do have sex it will be amazing!
A
female
reader, phiatiger +, writes (8 December 2007):
I have to say that I dont think this is down to your section. I am also 21 with 2 children, the youngest been 7 months. My first child was a section and I became intimate quite soon after having her. I had a natural birth with my second child and since having her I havent felt the same.
I think sometimes the experiences that we have and the way we see ourselves often affects how we feel about sex. My problem would be that I dont get the desire to have sex like I used to, then if I am nagged for a bit and I give in, I do enjoy it but still, its just not the same.
I think we often forget the traumatic experience of having a child and the changes our bodies have to go through. Dont forget we change for the whole 9 months so you have to expect that it will take at least as long to get over it, I think time will fix your sex drive, dont rush yourself, when your ready you will know. I do understand its hard to say you 'just dont feel like it' to your partner after having a baby as you neither want them deprived nor want to create bad feeling towards the baby. Your the important one here, have a break from it. Your lacking sex drive is completely normal.
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A
male
reader, rcn  + ♥, writes (8 December 2007):
 try getting over the fear of the c section. I think your issue may be a mentally developed fear, rather than a physical entity.
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A
female
reader, baby duck + ♥, writes (8 December 2007):
 Well, the fact that you're trying is quite promising.
When you say they have no effect, does that mean that you never get aroused? Or, does it take longer than it used to?
If it's never, please go see a doctor and see if your hormone levels are out of balance. If it just takes longer, then I don't think you should worry. Just having two wee ones impacts you on so many levels.
Here's a couple of things you can do, if it just takes longer. One: schedule it. Yeah ... I know ... it was more fun when it was spontaneous. Well, think of this as a change in your routine, a bit of variety. It is better to schedule it than to have it fall off the priority list altogether. Here's the second thing: while women need the emotional connection first, men need the physical connection first. I am not trying to guilt-trip you. Just try to understand that no matter how much you try to reassure him that it's you and your wacky postpartum hormones, he is going to take it personally. So, start up your engine, even when you don't feel like driving ... tune out the kids and the laundry and all the rest of the B.S. in your female multi-tasking brain, and tune in to your husband and what you two share together.
Best wishes and HAVE FUN!
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