A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my boyfriend about 3 months ago but we arranged to live in the same house several months back so we now live together with 3 of my other friends and will do for the rest of the year whilst attending uni. To cut a very long story short I broke up with him because he was always quite possessive of me. (I'm not quite sure how to phrase that) but basically if I was to talk to any other guys he would automatically assume that they fancied me and quite clearly showed his dislike for them and would get angry at me for it (for a while he was even suspicious about my guy best friend who was in a relationship, gay, and who he is also friends with! Absolutely nothing was going on!)He actually asked me out a couple of times before we got together and after each time he would insult me vwhich was quite upsetting, but each time afterwards when he wanted to hang out and be friends again, I pushed the hurt to one side. Don't get me wrong here, I have a lot in common with him and have had many fun times, he was there when I was extremely homesick and made it more bearable, but he said some really harsh things whenever there was any problem between us.Of course now its awkward because we live in the same house, he wanted to be friends again but by now I have learnt my lesson and said to him perhaps its not a great idea to be very close again, for both his sake and mine. The relationship seemed unhealthy and bad for both of us. he didn't take this well at all though and proceeded to say how it was unfair I was judging him on his past actions and words (I don't think thats wrong?) and that I should give him second chance. I feel like I've actually given him a lot of chances though after each time something has gone wrong and he has been very hostile (that is literally all he did- he would seize any opportunity to insult me when we were around each other but I didn't say anything in return). I understand that a guy must get upset when turned down, but he actually said that since my grandad had died (about a month before we broke up) that I had become cold and unfeeling. That really hurt.So I would like your opinion on whether you guys think I'm being harsh myself towards him and should give friendship a shot or whether distancing myself is the better option? Thanks in advance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2011): DISTANCE YOURSELF! By all means. Friendship will never ever ever work with a person like this, he will continue to try and control and manipulate you. Stay away for your own sake.
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