A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI am dating a guy for the past 1 year, we are kind of on and off. Most of time i goes slient when he feels that he opened up too much to me or he feels attached to me.Yesterday he opened up and we had a great time, today again he started behaving aloof. Its just that i cant go on like this. Everytime i feel he is coming closer to me, he would try to break it off and goes silent for a week or two and then again comes back.We talked about it a lot and he never changed.I wanted to break up with him for good, this waiting is killing me literally. Still i have my second opionion, since i love him a lot and invested a lot in this relatinship. Please help me, do people break up for the kind of reason i said above or am i asking for too much from him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 April 2011):
 Actually, breaking up like this is more common than you think. Before you break it off with him, simply tell him this and nothing else: I want to be with you. I like you. That's very clear to him that you are giving him a direction, and it's his choice to be with you or not. The reason why it has to be brief because you are simply telling him what you want, and you are not giving him any pressure. One possible reason he's blowing hot and cold may be that he doesn't know what you are thinking, if you are just waiting for him all the time to take the lead. If you don't hear a response for a week. Then assume he's gone forever.
A
female
reader, KeighleySky  +, writes (14 April 2011):
 first of all im going to tell you why i think hes behaving this way.
It sounds to me that he has been hurt in the past or hes had a bad upbringin. Its like he wants to open up to you but hes scared that when you know him, all of him then youll leave him when hes most vulnerable. If this is the case then i can sympathise because i know that after you've been hurt once or twice its hard to open up to the people you care about most.
I think you should tell him that he needs to trust you. I know its a bit tiring but its sounds like the thing he needs right now is some reassurance. Tell him that you lov ehim but you feel a little hurt and inadequate because he goes quiet for so long on so many occasions.
i think theres a deeper root to this than can be first seen. You need to try (gently) to find out what it is, if hes not able to tell you then you may have to let him go.
But atleast try to work it out with him first, it doesnt sound as if hes bad to you and you do love him.
I hope ive helped honey :)
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