A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My whole life I have been abused by different guys. I was born and my biological father started the abuse right away, we went on drinking and dug binges and disappeared for days at a time. When he came back he would hit and pinch me until I bleed. He broke my sister’s arm in two places, and would throw furniture at my mom. He refused to watch my sister and I growing up and when he had to he was ignore us and not feed us for days on end. My mother left him and I haven’t seen him or been in contact with him since I was 5 years old, now 11 years ago. My mom remarried a few times and all her relationships turned out to be very abusive verbally, emotionally, and physically, although in the end she left all of them for me because she didn’t want the abuse to continue in my life. While the abuse at home was going on I had two serous boyfriends and both were emotionally and sexually abusive. Growing up in the environment I did I now have a screwed up since of humor and joke about hitting people and when I do joke around I hit people playfully. I am scared I will continue the cycle of abuse and my joking will turn into serious abuse. How do I learn to accept that I have been abused and that I can’t afford to do that to the people in my life? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ShadowGirl +, writes (11 April 2010):
I'm going through something similar.
My current boyfriend is amazing, he's sweet and loving. But my ex used to emotionally abuse me, things like "you're not good enough me, i could be with [insert girls name here]. why can't you be like her?!" and now my boyfriend says i "know how to push the emotional buttons" and he's considered killing himself twice because of stuff i've said to him. The only advice i can give you is to think before you say or act. If you feel like you could be being a bit harsh, stop. But from the way you say you joke about it, i wouldn't worry about being an abuser, i hit my friends (gently) all the time, and joke about hitting them.
Don't worry everything will be ok.
xx
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