A
male
age
26-29,
*ix_Floors_Left
writes:This is probably going to be a long one so prepare yourself. About a year and a half ago I was hanging out with a friend in my apt circle like i did most days. I happened to go over to her house one day and she had a friend over. Now, back then i was the kind of guy to see a beautiful girl and just enjoy the moment and be okay when it ends. But she really caught my eye. We started talking and by the end of the weekend i had fallen for her. I had spent the night at my friends house many times before so the next weekend that me and the girl where there we spent the night. After a month or so we where both sleeping on the same couch and i wanted nothing more in life then to be with her. Then a huge obstical popped up. The girl i liked told me that my friend whos house we had been at liked me. My feelings for this girl where too strong to care too much for my friends feelings. It sounds hatefull but its the truth. So i told the girl that i liked her. She liked me too. She actualy told me that she loved me. So that was it. We where in love. Still, we couldnt be togather. My friend loved me by then. And we both knew that if we got togather she would hate both of us. After a few months we finnaly started going out on the DL. It was perfect.Of course she finnaly found out about us. All hell broke lose and fights almost broke out between a lot of people. Eventualy things cooled down. My friend was no longer my friend but i had my girlfriend and i didnt need anything else. We didn't live more than an hour away from eachother but it was really hard for me to get rides to go on dates with her. This is where it all went horribly wrong.I was at my Mom's house on a saturday. She promiced me the day before that my girlfriend could come over. But she changed her mind. I hadnt seen her in over a month so this infuriated me. I called my girlfriend and told her to come over anyway. We ended up going down the road about a mile and into the woods because we where sure my parents would be looking for me. A while after i get a call from my mom saying she knew i was with her and to get my (butt) home or she would come and get me.I said do it and hung up. a half hour later i got a call from my dad saying he was going to call the cops if i didnt go home. I cant believe it now but my love for her was strong enough to deal with jail just for a few hours with her. I didnt think i would go to jail but i would have for her. -side note- she talked about possibly having to move to boston or new york a month or so before this and i said that i would be willing to run away with from home with her so we didnt have to be apart.-end-Also i would like to mention that all we did in the woods was lay down under a tree for hours. She fell asleep in my arms and i just looked at her for a while thinking about her and how lucky i was to have her. Eventualy it got dark and started raining so we decided to make plans to head into town (about a 2 and a half mile walk) and spend the night at her friends house. After hours of jumping into the woods every time we saw headlights, getting soaked in the rain, and heading towards town we finnaly made it. It was about 1am when we got there and her friends mother welcomed us in. Unfortunately she wasnt cool with me being there without my prents permision. She called my dad but we made it clear that she wasnt going to tell him exactly where i was. She messed up and told him the street name and after about an hour or so my dad, mom, and my moms boyfriend where all there pounding on the door. My mom was counting down, planning to knock the door down. Me and my girlfriend where in the back of the house. I held her in my arms and when my mom said "3" i looked at my girlfriend and she told me that i should just go. I didnt really think about it but i let go of her and walked to the door. After a lot of screaming and a broken window we made it to the hospital (my moms boyfriend got cut by broken glass. nothing major). We had to go back to the house so i could get some stuff that i left there. I was escorted in by an officier. After getting all my stuff i stood in front of my girlfriend. The girl that i loved. I knew it was over. I said goodbye and walked away. I couldnt even bring myself to kiss her. I never saw her again. I got home and lost everything. I lost all of my communication with the outside world and spent pretty much the whole summer in my room. Many times i broke down and almost cried but the sadness turned to anger towards my parents before the tears came. Three months passed and i still hadnt forgiven my parents. I still dont think that i have today... Anyway i got my internet back. I had been waiting every single second of every day to talk to her again. I still have the messages saved on myspace... she was bi-sexual when we where going out and had decided that after this she was done with men and she decided to be a lesbian. I know that its not because of me but i never had time to ask her why. She told me that she would always love me and then she was gone.It was as if she had disappeared from the face of the Earth. I never heard from her again. I have pretty much no idea where she is or what she's doing. I have dated a few people since but i can NEVER get her out of my head. I don't know what to do. I know that if i really wanted to i could find her but part of me doesnt want to know what might happen if she doesnt still have feelings for me. I really dont want to love her anymore because i know that there is not a chance in hell that she feels the same about me.I have absolutely no idea what to do. But anyway thanks for reading and for any advice that can be offered.-SFL
View related questions:
escort, lesbian, move on, my ex, myspace Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Six_Floors_Left +, writes (21 August 2009):
Six_Floors_Left is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks jack20. I spend an hour trying to find her myspace last night and i sent her a msg. i didnt say anything other then whats up but im going 2 make sure she still uses her myspace before i tell her how i feel. Thanks again, i think that ive been waiting for someone to tell me that.
~SFL
A
male
reader, jack20  +, writes (19 August 2009):
hey! i think part of you wants too see her again, but another part of you prefers the comfort of not knowing ( ie. if shes found someone else ) , which is also causing you pain! which do you value more? playing it safe or the chance to reignite this amazing relationship ? I say go and find her, maybe shes waiting for you, who knows? Even if shes found another, at least youll know. You cant sit around wondering for the rest of your life, and you cant move on to someone else unless you re absolutely sure theres no future with her. You may get hurt but the pain of not knowing is much worse. And whos to say you dont have a chance ? she was in love with you!!!! Show her that you are the man she thought you were and FIND HER! I promise you youll grow as a person whatever the outcome.
...............................
|
