A
male
age
41-50,
*ysanew
writes:I'm a 23 year old man. I was in a relationship a year ago but she betrayed me and now I am single.I'm now on the way to start a new relatioship with other girl.She is more beutiful, we have talked a lot and she seems much interestrd in me.I'm also much impressed by her.However, I'm very much afraid of repeating that past history again. I may not trust any girl cause I was severly hurt before.I'm a kind of shy person, I haven't had too much relations with many girls in any aspect. Because of this, I usually think I could fall in love without studying her deeply. What should I do to be more able to deal with this new girl
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female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (7 November 2007):
 Hi there Aysanew
Firstly sorry for your past experiences. I know it is very painful to go through betrayal.
Secondly - well done for moving forward and getting ready for a new relationship. It is understandable for you to be worried about a new relationship, and if you don't think you are quite ready, then just wait a little longer.
Your new girlfriend ( i assume) has given you no reason not to trust her. You cannot live your life by past disappointments. You need to give her the benefit of the doubt. Express your concerns, but don't punish her for what your ex has done to you. Everybody deserves a chance. I always say, i'd rather go through life trusting people and get hurt on occasion, than leading a life of mistrusting everybody i meet. If you don't trust people - you might end up alone.
You know the warning signs, so be on the lookout for them, but don't pondor on the thought. Because then you might create it.
Good luck
A
female
reader, Angel dust  +, writes (7 November 2007):
 First of all you have to believe in yourself. To start a successful relationship you have to be over with any past issues especially hurt. When one has been rejected from his partner there will be always the hurt factor ... accept what happened to you with your previous girlfriend and move on. This new girl is interested in you ... a good sign to move on. This is a new relationship and a new girl so this might be a good start to believe in yourself and learn from mistakes.... The more we get hurt the stronger our character is.... I think its worth the risk coz if you dont risk nothing is gonna change anyways... good luck ;)
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