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Advice about a girl that I saw in one of my classes

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 April 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 4 May 2011)
A male United States age 36-40, *reshApple writes:

Dear Cupid…

Here is my situation:

There is a girl in my college that I really like. I said “like” because I have never talked to her. All I know about her is that she is (physically) very beautiful, smart, and very studious. Those qualities make her perfect for me; I she would be perfect for anybody ;)

This girl and I took a class together last semester. I was very slow (and quite coward) to find a good time to go up to her and talk to her about the class (just to start a conversation); that is just me, always, all the times. Long story short, I fantasized about going out with her for a whole semester. Not to mention that by December my neck hurt really bad because of constantly looking at the other side of the room ;)

My failed approach:

This semester I don’t see her anywhere near my classes. She spends most of her time in labs and other buildings on campus.

Two weeks ago, I decided to send her an email to ask her out for a friendly chat just to get to know each other. I asked two of my female friends about this matter. Apparently the first draft of my email was too strong for someone I don’t know. So, I sent a different email which was more “conservative”; honestly, I liked my original email which was from my heart but I decided to play safe. Last Friday, 5 days ago, I sent her the email but haven’t heard back from her.

Now, that is past and I cannot do anything about it. I am waiting for her reply but I doubt she will reply despite the fact that I really wanted her to respond.

My Question:

What would have been a better approach, given the fact that I don’t see her at all? Should I have waited or even forgot her RATHER THAN sending that email? I should also mention that I have been trying to see if any of my friends in that major know her but every attempt has failed; it’s almost as if she doesn’t exist…wait…maybe she doesn’t exist? Just kidding ;)

If there is anything unclear, just let me know and I will explain in more detail. I would specially appreciate ladies’ comment.

Thanks

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A male reader, FreshApple United States +, writes (4 May 2011):

FreshApple is verified as being by the original poster of the question

An update: Our college graduation is very near and she will get her diploma in few weeks. There is a chance that I might see her during a party for graduating students or even after receiving her diploma. My question is: if I see her in any of these (happy) occasions, is it OK to go up to her and say hi? Since my email created an awkward situation, if I go up to her, what should I talk about? Do you also think I should congratulate her for graduation as a reason for my conversation with her or is that too awkward?

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A male reader, FreshApple United States +, writes (2 May 2011):

FreshApple is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you very much for your replies.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011):

My concern here is that you don't know if she's single or not. She may have a boyfriend already, and not be interested. Or she may just not want to date right now. You possibly came on a little strong, also.

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A female reader, xena1976 United Kingdom +, writes (27 April 2011):

It may be the case that she sensed your desperation, which can be a little off putting for girls. I would not have sent an email in all honesty but found an alternative way to interact with her. See what she is interested in, is she a member of a club? or something like that...

If you are following her around puppy-eyed it might not be something she finds attractive. Generally women like confidence and understated interest. Being funny, interesting etc. is usually the key.

I would give up at this stage and look elsewhere.....

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