A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been talking to a girl on an online dating website. We seemed to be getting along okay, but she has stopped responding to my messages. I know that she's been online and it says that she has read my messages, but she isn't replying to me anymore.I can't think what I've said or done. I even asked her if it was something I said and again, she's read the message but hasn't replied to me. I know this shouldn't bug me as much as it does and if she isn't interested that's fine, but why doesn't she have the decency to explain herself? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's possible, Lily-Jane, but the only reason I was a little persistent was to try and find out whether there was a potential for a date. In any case, she has no excuse for ignoring me. If she wanted me to leave her alone that's absolutely fine, but it'd be nice to know what my mistake was so I can avoid making the mistake again in future.
Sound advice, KC100, 5/5!
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (3 August 2010):
 Just let it go - this is the nature of online dating I'm afraid and it is pretty common. In fact, you have got off pretty lightly! I used an online dating site for a few months last year, the first guy I met that I liked was completely obsessed with me for about 2 weeks, he would email, text and call all the time. We went for 2 or 3 dates, had a lovely time and he kept on saying how amazing, wonderful etc I was. Then suddenly I heard nothing from him for about 4 days so I just text to see if everything was ok, and he just said "we need to get to know each other better" (which I thought was the whole point of dating!) and then that was the last I heard from him! I did text a couple of times asking him what had happened, but in the end I just gave up and moved on.
Then online dating guy number 2. The worst of them all! We had been emailing and texting a lot, met up and had a slightly weird date so I wasnt sure if he liked me. But he text as soon as he left to say what a great time he had and wanted to see me again, so we did and we ended up in a relationship for a month. I thought everything was going well, we were making plans, the usual stuff you would in a relationship. Then I went away to my parents for a weekend, and he went very quiet on me with no reason, and that was the last time I heard from him! No explanation what had happened, it was just bizarre! I cant understand how you can be with someone a month, seeing each other frequently, saying all the lovely things you tend to when first with someone, even sleeping with me, to go from "why has it taken me so long to find someone like you" to not returning texts or phone calls. I was pretty upset by this one, it was really harsh and uncalled for!
I guess what I learnt is that a lot of people dont have any manners, they have no decency and no guts so they would rather just vanish off the face of the earth than be honest. These people are cowards and just plain rude, and really you are better off without them! Do you really want to be with a person who is that rude just to not bother replying to your messages? I think it reflects their personality and that is not the sort of person you want to be in a relationship with.
Online dating is tough, and you will go through a number of girls who will act like this, or who will mess you about one way or another. But try not to let it get to you, people are just rude and that is a fact of life. Move on, you can do so much better!
And to end on a positive note - I met guy number 3 online, and we have just moved in together :) There are good ones on online dating sites, it just takes a while to find them!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Lily-Jane +, writes (3 August 2010):
 Girls are like that, im one myself! Maybe it was your persistance that turned her off!
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