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anonymous
writes: Can you explain to me how to make love and perform oral sex as my boyfriend expects me to do it and I want to have a go?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Natalie, writes (19 February 2005): Well, as I have read the other answer to this question, I also think it is important that you are comfortable with it etc. But you did ask what to do so I figure you deserve an answer. Not that I particularly want to go in to much detail, it's all about the confidence and eye contact. If you've got them you can't really go wrong with oral sex on a guy. They pretty much get off on anything you do to them down there! Focus on the tip of the penis as this is the most sensitive part. Look into his eyes whilst doing this and exert confidence. Also, don't hesitate to use your hands to help as you wont get it all in your mouth (hopefully!) Now sex is a different matter with the same principles, eye contact, confidence and, without going OTT, noises. Little moans show a guy what you like and they're also sexy. If you don't feel too confident at first, make body gestures to get him on top, that way you'll get a sence of what he likes (speed and strength wise.) Then, when you've got the confidence get on top. Use your hands to pin his arms back occasionally and kiss his neck, this gives you the control and they like that. At first you might want to gesture his hands onto your hips to help you get the rhythm, but like I said earlier, you cant go wrong when he's being touched down there in any way at all! Good luck, and remember... Don't be shy, it's a real turn off! Release your inhibitions! But be safe and be comfortable with what you are doing.
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (14 February 2005):
 Hi there,Maybe it's just me reading too much into your letter, or possibly English isn't your first language but I'd be a bit leery of anyone who "expects" you to "perform" oral sex.Sex is something you do because you want to, because it's enjoyable to both of you. It isn't something that someone commands of you, or a trick you perform like a trained seal. Something in your short note gives me the feeling you're not terribly interested in sex for its pleasure potential, but that you feel obligated to please your boyfriend. If that's the case, you should remember that no one who cares for you - and about you - would expect sex from you, and you don't have to have sex if you don't want it. Any boyfriend who suggests otherwise is selfish and egotistical.No doubt other readers will offer their best suggestions on the best way(s) to stimulate your boyfriend, and that's fine. Just remember that it's your choice whether or not you go ahead with it, once you've read others' ideas.-B
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