A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for 6 weeks now, and my new husband has undergone a complete personality change - he's become pompous all of a sudden.He was never like this when we were dating.I've tried to find out why he's become like this, but he just gets more pompous and said to me "If I want to be pompous I can, it's my human rights!"I've also tried speaking to his parents, who said that he's never been like this before and they don't understand why.My husband's not a drinker and doesn't take drugs, so that cause can be ruled out.I feel upset - I've tried to resolve it - I know marriage isn't all hearts-and-flowers, but I really am getting nowhere, and this makes me really upset.please help me, I really need it! Tania
View related questions:
drugs Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): I certainly did live with him before we got married, and there were no problems, apart from the usual arguments couples have. He certainly wasn't pompous back then.Tania
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): first let me say I'm sorry that you are going trough this and second is I have listened to this very story numerious times... I have to ask you
Did you live with this person before the marriage?
and also in many cases marriage changes people. In which case you will need some counsling. It sounds to me as if he is rebelling. Marriage makes people do crazy things. Veiw the world in a whole different perspective. He states he can be pompous if he wants to and he is right. What he probably don't know is why hes being pompous or why he wants to.
Just because your married that does not mean you have to sit there and put up with his pompous ass or pompous attitude. Marriage is 50/50 not 50/jerk. Remember you both chose to make a commitment and sometimes that means standing up for what you believe in even when you are fighting with that person you are still fighting for them.
Your right marriage is not all hearts and flowers its hard work and communication... sometimes males arent great at communication so with that being said you need to find a way to communicate with him. even if it means standing up to him. It seems from your letter he is getting aggrivated with you asking why and asking his family members (would tick me off too) is kinda out of line.
it sounds as if he expects you to know so with out you coming out and saying hey, were both adults we both got into this so lets figure out where we are. This advise also comes with a warning due to the fact that most men do not like emotional confrontation which is what this will be and he will more that likely react, but with out it i don't see how you can fix anything without getting to the heart of the issue
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): Marriage brings out the true colors. Dating is just an audition, an interview. This is the real him. Maybe get him some counselling to help resolve that pompousness (if I add "ness" is it a word - you get my point.)
...............................
|
