A
female
age
41-50,
*lossomhill
writes:I dont know if there is any hope for my marriage and I am feeling so lonely and lost. I will turn 27 in a few weeks and have been married 2and a half years. I meant every word of my marriage vows and want everyone to be aware that I don't take marriage lightly. However my husband has become so moody. He flies in to mad rages and shouts in a voice that terrifies me. This can happen if I don't do or say the right thing according to him. He also threatens to harm himself if I leave. He calls me names. He never apologises, I have to apologise as he says I wind him up and make him behave like this. We are also in debt but he says it is getting sorted. However it still isn't sorted and there has been so many excuses. He won't let me be involved and flies off the handle if I ask questions. I feel he bullies and blackmails me into getting his own way. He hasn't kissed me or touched me in a year and a half. I'm at my wits end. I cant tell my family as he would go mad. Is there any hope for this marriage?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, blossomhill +, writes (5 September 2009):
blossomhill is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your response Tnega. I dont have a family member I can tell, it's not that I don't trust them - it's just that my mum has enough worry on her shoulders without this and I don't want to add to her stress. I'm also a very private person and just can't bring myself to tell anyone in my family, I don't want to let them down or them be disappointed in me. I have told a friend who lives an hour away from me and is not a mutual friend of my husband. She just told me to leave but I as unhappy as I am, I am scared to leave. I did tell him once that I wanted to leave and he threatened all sorts. I would never forgive myself if I left and something happened him.I have tried to talk to him over and over when he is in a good mood and we are getting on, but he then just turns nasty at the flick of a switch. Its like Jeckyll & Hide. I live every moment in fear of saying/doing the wrong thing. I cry every day. I really dont understand what I'm doing that winds him up so much! Do I have to change everything about myself to make him love me again?
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