A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've had this 'thing' with this one guy for about 3 years now when I first met him. I didn't know who he was, didn't know his age, none of that mattered but I was so crazy about him, that I still am. I kept a journal for 4 years now and 3 years I've written little things about him in it, like what we talked about the night before or when will I see him again, just little things I've got to know more about over the years with him.Anyways, recently, well roughly 3 months ago, I showed him my journals. I let him read what I wrote about him. He remained completely calm and not so shocked about it. Earlier this year I had decided I'd give myself to him, that he'd be my first because I thought I'd known him well enough and see, he's 20 this year, and I'm 16. We're still young, that I understand. He's well-known, I'm not as opaque as he is. He knows lots of girls everywhere, which I might add that they are all more prettier, more outgoing than me... they overpower me in so many ways and if they wanted to, they could be with him in a flash, but strangely that hasn't happened, from what I know of anyway.See, I let him keep the books, I figure that they're just in the way of letting go of him when I look back and read them. That's the last thing I want is to let him go, but we don't have a relationship going, we had one where I was dating him for a while when we first met but now it's more of a no-strings attached late-night no-one-knows-but-us sex thing. We both want to get out of here as much as anyone does who lives around here. He's moving in a few weeks, roughly 4 hours from me and his family and friends, because he can. He let me know about it a couple weeks ago and I am not looking forward to seeing the only man I've ever had this much feeling for leave. We've talked about it, but he wants to know "Why me?". I cannot seem to find the answer, I've thought about it over and over again. I'd like to move on before he does but I find it impossible to. I'm in need of something to say to him or something to do about it, or find ways to let go or something. I'm completely confused. Oh ya, Did I mention we have the same last name?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (11 August 2008):
Well it's kind of romantic that you had this thing with him and it was relaxed and private and you obviously don't regret it.
But what is going to be more romantic now....
Letting him go and keeping the secret and having happy memories?
or
Trying to drag it out and keep in touch and getting all upset and messy about it.
Keep it as it was. Perfect and short. Wave goodbye to him and yes you'll be upset but it was a period in your life that has now gone.
Keep your memories, learn your lessons, and work hard on getting out of your town by getting good grades so you can go off to uni far far away.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): I think you may just be getting your knickers ina twist over nothing.
You like the guy... and maybe he likes you. But regardless, he clearly does not want a full-blown relationship, and given your age it wouldn't look appropriate even if the age of consent is 16.
He is getting out, with no regards to how you feel, so let him go. Find another guy, preferably one that doesn't treat you like a blow-up doll and learn that love is rare and almost never happens twice.
Almost.
Flynn 24
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