A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Well, I have quite a unique question for the ladies, particularly ladies who have cheated, had to confess, then went on to have fulfilling marriages with the same spouse as swingers. I have been overseas for most of the past six years and I just recently returned overseas. While trying to check my e-mail, my wife accidentally checked "remember me" when signing into her e-mail on my laptop so it went straight to her e-mail account. Curiosity got the best of me and I snooped around in her account. The only thing I found was several e-mails from an online dating site. These are from late 2010 time frame and I was over here then. They don't reveal anything except the username and login, and they are new emails from different site members. This is funny because we've been talking about swinging in the past few months. While I would feel hurt and betrayed if she did something behind my back, the potential that she was having sex with someone else while I was gone is also highly arousing. During this time period when we have been discussing swinging, there has been more than one occasion in the bed when we have discussed previous sexual partners and experiences while having sex and this sex was highly explosive. I have asked every possible question, to include about cheating on me. There have been a few other things, along with this discovery, that lead me to believe that she has at least talked to other guys while I was away. I feel that it is possible she might have cheated once, twice, or a few times. I know that due to a lack of support system at home it couldn't have been something often and ongoing. There is no evidence that comes remotely close to being "concrete" but it is more of a feeling that I get. My intuition is very strong and many times I am right about things such as these. My question is this ladies: Is there anyway I can get my wife comfortable enough to admit to me that she cheated on me? I know, this is a sick fetish. I do not wish to and will not use this against her. My main wish is for this admission to occur when we are having sex and I want her to feel comfortable enough to tell me. I have been overseas for a long period of time that is also most of our marriage. I have not cheated but my wife is a sexy lady and guys go after her. I know she can also be very sneaky; I know this because of the "few other things" that I mentioned above that she does not know that I know. Anyhow ladies, any answers? I DON'T WANT JUDGEMENTAL COMMENTS HERE because I'm not asking for help in coping with cheating nor do I want to hear how sick I am. Just a real answer from the swinging ladies who "confessed" and went on to have hot, steamy marriages. Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2012): As a woman who has confessed before, I have to say, NO WAY. Confessing to cheating is a death sentence for a relationship. It doesn't get "steamy", unless you include heated arguments. I think if you are this obsessed with the fact that she may have cheated, maybe you don't trust her @ all. I would hate to be in her shoes, innocent or not. I couldn't imagine anything that would make a woman feel comfortable enough to admit cheating. Maybe drugs, alcohol, inexperience, or stupidity. Sorry, I know you only want to hear comments in your favor. Reality check.
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