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Sex with his dad to get a baby?

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 December 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 16 December 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My husband wants children, and so do I, and we have been trying for a baby, but without success. Nothing we have tried seemed to work.

Me and my husband were having a conversation about the issue one night, and trying to think of ways to have children successfully - and then he said I should sleep with his dad so that we can have a baby - and he then said that it will be beneficial for all concerned.

I asked him why, and he said it was just the thing to ensure we can have a baby.

I told him that the whole idea was sordid and vile, and suggested we adopt a child, or have a sperm donor instead, but he said he was having none of it, and that it would be better if I slept with his dad. He then said the kid will never know his real parentage anyway if me and him bring him up. My husband said to me the only reason he suggested the idea was that he is desperate to become a father.

My husband's never had any crazy ideas like this before, he's usually a sensible and loving man.

what should I do about this?? it's stressing me out just thinking of the idea

Jennifer (29) from Coventry

View related questions: sperm, trying for a baby, want children

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A male reader, Revanofdarkness Germany +, writes (16 December 2008):

Revanofdarkness agony auntDon't do it, it will just mess up your relationship i'm not much of a god person but just try making love to him a couple more times maybe out of a mircale you will get pregnant from the man you love otherwise just adopt a child.

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A female reader, mahrina Pakistan +, writes (14 December 2008):

mahrina agony auntNo you should not listen to him and leave the matter on GOD , he must bless you with a son. You just have faith because God plans are away from our thinking. He has kept this special gift for both of you. YOu go to some pastor and have counselling with him and discuss with your husband.and dont take separation from your husband.but love him and tell him that we will soon get a son.

GOD Bless you my sister.

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A female reader, Artistry United States +, writes (11 December 2008):

Artistry agony auntHi there, I am in sync with everyone else. How did your husband come to this place, it sounds as if he is dealing with fantasies of some kind, having nothing to do with a baby. No one wants to think of their child learning that his father is his grandfather, therapy for the rest of his or her life. My dear, please, don't even consider this. Does your husband even know if he has a weak sperm count or do either of you know what the problem is? As one of the other Aunts suggested, how about a fertility clinic for tests? Possibly invitro fertilzation, your husband's sperm and your egg. That way the child belongs to you both. Away with this bizzare idea. How your husband could present this idea to you with a straight face, makes me think he needs some sort of couseling. If you can't resolve this, then as one of the other Aunts said, think about leaving the situation, what other notion will your husband have, a threesome? Good luck to you with your decision. Stay in touch.

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A female reader, melon United Kingdom +, writes (11 December 2008):

This is such a weird question. I definitely don't think that you should have sex with his dad, that is totally bizarre, no matter how much he wants a kid! Go to your GP, find out what you can do and what your options are.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (11 December 2008):

TasteofIndia agony auntWhat a bizarre solution your husband has come up with. Before anyone starts having sex with anybodies DAD, why don't you go to a fertility clinic and have them give you suggestions? Get both of you checked out, see what the issue is.

And I mean, you don't have to have SEX with his father. I mean, that is just unspeakably weird (it gives me the heebie-jeebies). Why is that the place your husband would jump to? there is artificial insemination, that way nobody has to see anyone else naked and no penetration has to go down.

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A female reader, stella Ibedu Nigeria +, writes (11 December 2008):

my dear pls do not listen to him, that suggestion is evil and it is a sin in the eyes of God, do you know if you try that you will never forgive yourself for the rest of your life and yur husband might hate you afterwards bcos men are unpredictable and if the child dets to find out he or she will hate u for life. pls my dear Gods time is the best ok. l will always pray for u. remain bless

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A female reader, Jizelle United Kingdom +, writes (11 December 2008):

Does he realise that this means his wife will be giving birth to his younger brother or sister, not his child?!

It really doesnt sound like a good idea, it sounds downright creepy to be honest, and you are obviously very uncomfortable with it, which means he is not considering your feelings. It sounds like he has some rather worrying issues. Talk to him and explain why you don't want to, then listen to his side of things.

If hes still adamant, maybe its time to start thinking about going your seperate ways, or at least couples counselling. A man wanting his wife to have sex with his father is definately not normal.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2008):

If you wish to use your father in law'd sperm, you don't actually have to sleep with him - there are ways of artificially inseminating yourself at home.

HOWEVER, first, I advise that the pair of you go and get fertility tests and speak to a doctor about your difficulties, and the possible solutions.

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